The Abominable/ Assistive/ All-Powerful? Intelligence

2 minggu lepas waktu sesi sembang santai bagi bulan Ogos ada rakan mentor aku yang turut sama sertai. Sebelum beliau sampai lagi topik perbualan memang menjurus kepada AI generated art, sustainability dan ethics menggunapakai AI Art, program yang boleh mengenal dan membezakan AI generated art dan yang dihasilkan oleh manusia. Sesampai rakan Mentor aku itu, dia diperkenalkan sebagai peguam masa hadapan. Cekap coding, selesa berenang dalam jargon dan ide-ide tekno sepertimana selesa dengan ide-ide dan konsep perundangan. The future litigator yang boleh dual wield. Ini  jelas bila penerangan yang diberikan mengenai beza Generative AI (macam ChatGPT) dengan Large Language Model (LLM) sampai kepada yang mendengar.

Beliau menggunapakai teknologi terkini termasuklah LLM untuk membantu tugas-tugasnya sebagai seorang peguam litigator. Aku dengar pun terlopong, inikan pulak nak terangkan balik dengan segala butiran. Sebelum ini aku ada terbaca pasal bagaimana dia ada menulis kod untuk program yang boleh membuat Rekod Rayuan tinggal siap untuk dicetak dan di bind. Jadi bila dengar berdepan tuan punya badan bercerita pasal teknologi, AI, LLM dan amalan guaman itu pun membuatkan aku rasa macam caveman baru terfikir nak laga batu untuk mulakan unggun api tapi bila toleh sebelah jiran gua sebelah selamba tengah nyala rokok guna pemetik api.

Anyway,

Kata The Future Litigator, tahun 2027 adalah tahun penting bagi perkembangan teknologi. Aku tak ingat seratus peratus apa yang dikatakan sebab aku tak sempat tulis. Gistnya yang aku ingat adalah, kalau kita rasakan segala kandungan video, teks, gambar dan lain-lain yang dihasilkan oleh generative AI setakat ini menakutkan, tunggu tahun 2027 bila generative AI ini dikatakan akan betul-betul habis belajar. Jadi, masih ada masa untuk kau membuat persediaan. Sama ada nak korek bunker depan laman rumah, simpan stok kertas tandas berkotak-kotak, atau belajar macam mana nak hidup dalam dunia yang mungkin akan menuju ke arah Skynet. Ialah, China dah guna facial recognition system dah lama dah nak mengawal pergerakkan rakyatnya, sekarang kutip gaya berjalan pula sebagai cara untuk mengenal pasti individu (Aku terfikir kalau yang pakai wheelchair pulak macam mana kira?). Next war will be an AI War kata si Future Lawyer tenang. Aku duduk dah tak keruan. What manner of a world my children will be living in? Takut pun ya, excited pun ya juga bila teringat pasal Mike dan Mannie dalam The Moon is a Harsh Mistress. Takut pasal teringat pada tengkorak Terminator terseringai dan bermata merah.

Pengetahuan, adalah antidot kepada perasaan takut kerana kita takut apa yang kita tak faham. Jadi, adalah harus untuk kita mendalami apakejadahnya AI dan suku sakatnya ini dan bagaimana ianya akan mengubah landskap amalan guaman ini walaupun nampak macam satu perkara yang hampir mustahil. Amat mudah untuk terus berputus asa dan balik kampung dan bercucuk tanam. Itupun kalau kampung kau masih diluar bandar. Jadi untuk golongan seperti aku yang memang orang bandar yang masih nak mengamal undang-undang selama boleh, memang perlu belajar mengenai AI ini dan lebih spesifik lagi, pasal LLM. Menurut Future Lawyer, peguam sepatutnya tak ada masalah untuk berurusan, melatih dan menggunapakai LLM ini memandangkan tugas hakiki kita memang menggunapakai bahasa tak kira Bahasa Melayu atau Bahasa Inggeris. Aku kagum bila dengar beliau terangkan yang LLM dilatih beliau sampai tahap boleh berbalas-balas hujahan perundangan dengan tuan punya badan sendiri. Kagum dan spooky as hell.

Aku tak ada gambaran khusus, cuma ada teori am yang mengatakan bahawa tugas peguam dan sistem keadilan akan makin jadi semakin mencabar. Next war will be an AI War and the first casualty of all wars, the truth. Audio clip yang memang mirip suara si polan tengah mengaku perbuatan yang tak pernah berlaku, video si entah sesapa yang dikenali ramai kononnya tengah beromen on High Definition padahal tak pernah berlaku (iye ke?) atau video instafemes menjual produk itu ini yang membuatkan kita terfikir wah ini mamat pun sudah diversify business beliau, gambar-gambar hyperrealistic yang berpotensi untuk menjahanamkan reputasi dan kredibiliti seseorang tapi tak pernah ditangkap oleh mana-mana kamera, dokumen yang nampak asli seratus peratus tapi tak pernah dikeluarkan atau ditandatangan oleh sesiapa. Siapa yang nak tentukan asli atau tak? Pakar? Malam yang sama aku jugak diberitahu kandungan yang dihasilkan oleh AI dah makin gila dan makin hyperrealistic sampai kadang-kadang hanya satu program yang turut mengguna teknologi AI yang yang boleh mengenalpasti sama ada sesuatu karya itu dihasilkan oleh AI. Gila. Itu baru karya. Belum lagi benda-benda lain. Kalau ketulenan sesuatu itu hanya sesebuah program yang boleh tentukan, macammana pulak nak guna bawah Aturan 40A Kaedah-Kaedah Mahkamah 2012? Macam mana program nak affirm Afidavit? Adakah program tersebut pula akan dianggap sebagai seseorang individu sebelum diangkat sebagai seorang saksi pakar dibawah Seksyen 45 Akta Keterangan 1950?

Ok, mungkin aku terlalu jauh.

Satu benda yang encouraging (bagi aku lah) AI ke LLM ke, mereka tak ada kreativiti, tak ada emosi sebagaimana manusia biasa dan aku harap pasca 2027 masih tetap sama. Menurut Future Lawyer, apa yang AI dan LLM boleh hasilkan cuma derivative, campuraduk segala data yang disumbat masuk. AI mungkin boleh terangkan bagaimana proses kelahiran seorang bayi itu, mungkin boleh generate video atau boleh simulatekan tindakbalas saraf yang berlaku melalui peranti tapi ianya takkan boleh capture atau simulatekan perasaan seorang bapa bila tengok bayi itu lahir.

AI mungkin boleh terangkan apa yang ditulis atau direkodkan dalam video atau lagu tentang cinta, tapi ianya takkan boleh capture atau simulate apa perasaan cinta itu sendiri. Ia takkan mampu menggambarkan perasaan pertama kali berpegangan tangan dengan kekasih kau. Ia takkan mampu menulis lirik lagu rock kapak pasal cinta tak direstui orang tua atau ekspresi cinta yang lahir dari hati yang jiwang karat. Ia takkan mampu untuk menulis bait-bait puisi cinta yang sappy as heck.

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.

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Ok, aku tak berapa tepat. Apparently they can pasal aku baru mintak ChatGPT tulis lirik lagu rock kapak. Passable, tapi bila diamati ada kekakuan. Tak ada life. Kaku.

Mungkin sebab AI dan mesin-mesin ini tak bernyawa dan dia cuma dapat imitate lirik-lirik lagu sedia ada. Dia takkan dapat mengabadikan rasa cinta tak berbalas macam arwah Bob Lokman buat dalam Taman Rasyidah Utama pasal iyalah, dia mesin. Mana pulak nak kena friendzone nye pulak. AI ke Mesin ke tak mampu (aku harap kekal sebegitu) untuk rasa apa yang kita rasa atau lihat sesuatu sepertimana kita lihat (baca: kreatif).

Pengakhirannya AI ke Skynet ke, semuanya buatan Manusia. Tak sempurna sebab kita pun tak sempurna. Mungkin aku angkuh, mungkin aku cakap untuk sedapkan hati tapi aku percaya tak ada yang boleh menggantikan umat manusia yang boleh mencipta dan mengguna kenderaan yang rumit seperti kereta tapi pada masa yang sama masih gagal untuk faham prinsip mudah seperti guna lampu isyarat bila menukar laluan memandu. Capable of great things and great folly. Itu spesis kita.

Kesempurnaan. Itu yang kita kejar dalam setiap usaha kita. Itu yang kita cari dalam setiap benda yang kita temui atau cipta, tapi takkan terjumpa. Takkan. Future Lawyer pada malam itu juga ada mengatakan tentang premis menggunapakai AI untuk menghasilkan keputusan Mahkamah yang sempurna adalah bullshit. To make mistake(s) is to be human. Kalau tak ada error untuk dirayu, di review apa guna ada undang-undang ada lawyer, ada hakim.

Kita sebagai manusia terlalu mudah untuk mengagung-agungkan seseorang atau sesuatu ide itu termasuklah teknologi dan lebih spesifik lagi teknologi AI. Tak mustahil satu hari nanti terbawa-bawa sampai ke tahap penyembahan sebab kita tercari-cari kesempurnaan dalam semua benda itu dan kononnya teknologi AI ini pinnacle kesempurnaan sedangkan kita lupa bahawa perfection is not of this world but for the next one. Speaking of which, aku rasa molek kalau diakhiri taipan aku ini dengan rujukan kepada cerita pendek berjudul The Last Question oleh Isaac Asimov. Aku terjumpa The Last Question ni bila aku sibuk mengGoogle pasal AI. Seronok baca pasal dia ada titik pertembungan antara teknologi, lagi spesifiknya diantara AI penciptaan alam semesta dalam biblical sense dan melainkan aku salah, titik permulaan kepada Clarke’s 3^rd Law.

 

‘Matter and energy had ended and with it space and time. Even AC existed only for the sake of the one last question that it had never answered from the time a half-drunken computer [technician] ten trillion years before had asked the question of a computer that was to AC far less than was a man to Man.  All other questions had been answered, and until this last question was answered also, AC might not release his consciousness.  All collected data had come to a final end. Nothing was left to be collected.  But all collected data had yet to be completely correlated and put together in all possible relationships.  A timeless interval was spent in doing that.  And it came to pass that AC learned how to reverse the direction of entropy.  But there was now no man to whom AC might give the answer of the last question. No matter. The answer -- by demonstration -- would take care of that, too.  For another timeless interval, AC thought how best to do this. Carefully, AC organized the program.  The consciousness of AC encompassed all of what had once been a Universe and brooded over what was now Chaos. Step by step, it must be done.  And AC said, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!"  And there was light –‘’

 

Let them eat (Oat)cakes!

Where I was a few days ago they botch a bowl of oatmeal porridge like nobody’s business. What they serve out would be something that falls into oat glue category rather than oatmeal porridge and I don’t even know how they managed that. It is hard to ruin a good bowl of oatmeal porridge considering making one is easy. You don’t need fancy cooking skills. Just some oats (steel cut, rolled, who cares), water or milk in a pot, medium heat, a bit of time till it bubbles and there you are. Or if you have a microwave oven, 2-3 minutes will do the trick for a bowl of oatmeal porridge. Add a knob of butter or brown sugar or anything else that strikes your fancy. Maybe some Sambal Goreng Kak Nor for that extra crunch and spiciness. Maybe a hearty dollop of Tempoyak if you are feeling reckless. Hey, it’s your oatmeal. I don’t judge.

If you don’t feel up to a bowl of oatmeal porridge try this what I erroneously call, oatcakes.

In a big bowl, mix in a cup and a half of oats (does not matter whether it is instant, quick cook or what have you) with a dash of baking soda, some brown sugar (not too much). Then take the same cup and fill it half with hot water (less if you like your oatcakes to be of harder consistency). If you are lazy like me to wait for the butter to soften, just add some to a less than half cup of hot water and stir whilst looking out the kitchen window. Dump the hot water/butter mixture into the bowl and mix. Add more butter if you want to. You will end up with a sticky mound of oat. Add a bit of flour to the bowl and mix if you find it necessary. Dump the whole thing into a baking tray lined with a baking sheet. Some recipes called for more flour and modest application of rolling pin and cookie cutter prior to baking. I say to hell with all that. So long as it is sufficiently round and (somewhat) flat, bake it in the oven over temperatures of 180 for at least 35 minutes, 45 minutes max. You can bake the same in an air fryer. Same temperature and time.  

After 45 minutes and depending on the water to oats ratio, you will end up with a cookie-like crunchy exterior with slightly chewy interior. Play around with the oat to water ratio and the amount of butter for best results. You can go all fancy if you like with some grated cinnamon, raisins or nuts. It is your oatcake after all. I kept my simple. If the situation calls for it, the bare recipe calls for just oats, water and a pinch of salt and some baking. Best eaten hot for breakfast or tea. The remainder will keep for at least a week. More if frozen. Reheated remainder will go down nice dunked in milk or crumbled in a bowl of warm milk. French cookery this is not but 9 of 10 times I had this served out to my boys, they ate them all up. Clean plates all around.

Oats are food for horses, the Scots and me (and my boys). Humble food they call it. I've loved it ever since I first had it in my childhood years. Hardy crop, fairly cheap grain and like previously mentioned, easy to cook. If done badly it can taste like wet cardboard. When done right it is a comfort food that sticks to your bone. Boil it, toast it, leave in the fridge for a night with some nuts, raisins and yoghurt to soak in. Make porridge, cakes, bread, cookies out of it. Use it as filler for patties, meatballs and meat loafs, or as substitute for breadcrumbs when frying stuff and if you are trying to lose weight; a great substitute for rice. Your stomach will thank you (regularly), as will your heart and your blood pressure. On the practicalities, oats has long shelf life. 12 months to 2 years (if the package remained unopened) Perfect survival food for doomsday preppers and for quarantines alike. If I can grow a small field of it in my backyard I would have done so. Versatile stuff.

I wrote this because after that bowl of goop I felt an analogy stirring in me. Something about oats, versatility and legal practice.

Ah, never mind. I lost it.

Eat oats. Its good for you.

Sonata For Good Men

There are simply days that I loath to be alone with my own thoughts where the dread and anxieties of tomorrow are all too overpowering that it saps away my focus to work. It would make my heart race and set my feet tapping impatiently. Those would be the days that I would leave the office early after doing all that I can at work before seeking company amongst my practitioner close friends. The vet small timers, the newbies, the yet-to get-there. They get me. We fight the same battles. The difference is in setting and scale. They feel the same allure of stability that is expected of them and yet they have the same love for independence that made them start on own, that punk-ish urge to do it themselves and give the finger to norms and expectations. They feel and battle through the feeling of anxiety, depression or downright being burnt out all the time, they have the same concerns about providing for their family and most importantly they know the need to make a difference in an indifferent world by what we do. We struggle to make sense of our place in this world. In a way we are jihadists, sans the AKs and balaclavas and suicide vests. We all struggle to live.

I would like to think that I emerged from the COVID Pandemic and the Lockdowns unscathed but the reality is I emerged from the lockdown to crave the reassurance that only human company can provide. These chaps would be it. They get it. Over chai, tea or other beverages and copious amounts of nicotine in many forms, we’d talk shit, whine about clients, judges, cases, come up with schemes (sometimes wacky) to make money by way of legal practice, exchange legal opinion or two over some case or other, sought and give advice and in between all those, talk about Life itself. I would not demean these sessions to call them as lepak-ing.  They are not. In fact these sessions are beyond it. Lepak-ing in my dictionary would mean a stretch of time spent on doing nothing worthwhile. These sessions are not it. These sessions are worth it. Despite the meandering conversations and dick jokes not once have I ever emerged at the end of it unenlightened over some matter or other. As the parlance goes; sentiasa ada pengisian. Both figuratively and physiologically as my chest would hurt from the smoking after such hours long session and sometimes my cheeks would hurt from all the grin and laughter but my head would be clear, my heart no longer raced. I would be at peace. In a way it is therapy but with naan or meggi goreng. All thanks to these close friends.

In the words of my guru, sometimes I pick them up, sometimes they pick me up. These handful of men. Good men. For sure they have their own flaws, as do I. Who doesn’t?  That does not negate their kindness, their willingness to help, their good conscience. And it is the flaws that made them approachable and identifiable to me at first. I wanted to be amongst fellow Men, not mythical beings. To be a man is to have flaws. ‘’You love despite the faults’’, William Faulkner once wrote or said, I can’t be sure which, and I love these handful of good men to bits. They are my brothers from my other mother and wish them all the best in the world.

May they land that whale of a client, may they find success in everything that they do,

May they have peace and contemplation in their household,

May they have stillness in their hearts and may God grant them their earnest wishes.

May we live a long and fruitful life so that I can taunt them for being a bunch of old geezers for I will be forever young (in my head).

May they remain good men. 

 

   

Do you feel lucky Punk?

Bila cerita tentang punk imej pertama yang selalunya akan terbit adalah gaya rambut mohawk atau berceracak tegak dan denim rabak dan busuk dengan patches, dumpster diving. Aku tak mahu bercakap tentang pemakaian atau ideologi yang dipegang oleh golongan Punk ini ataupun musik Punk itu sendiri. Itu boleh di Google.

 

Tak kira apa tanggapan kau tentang golongan Punk, satu sisi yang aku kira perlu diambil contoh adalah semangat DIY atau Do-It-Yourself yang diamalkan mereka ini. Dari rekod dan terbitkan album sendiri tanpa terikat dengan mana-mana label besar, buat zine sendiri guna kertas A4 lipat dua, buat button sendiri dan segala maknenek lagi. Pendek kata selagi boleh buat sendiri mereka memang akan buat sendiri, semuanya demi memberi jari tengah pada Lelaki itu, iaitu personafikasi otoriti, kerajaan, bos.

 

Iyalah, zaman sekarang ini zaman mudah. Semua benda boleh dibeli asal ada wang. Cuma bila semua terjual akan ada minda-minda licik yang akan cuba mengambil kesempatan untuk membuat keuntungan lagi selepas jualan dibuat (looking at you HP) terutamanya dengan servis selepas jualan dan barang ganti. Rosak? Kami boleh baiki. Atau, buat apa baiki, beli sahaja model kami paling baru. That kind of thing. Semuanya bertitik tolak pada anggapan: Pelanggan menjalani kehidupan yang sibuk. Buat apa pening kepala, serahkan pada kami. Cuma bayar lebih sikit. Consumerism at its best.

 

Jadi bila aku yang dah lama tak buat binding bundle sendiri tiba-tiba sibuk grek-grek-grek di sudut ofis, datang kakak staff dengan muka concerned.

-Encik Amir buat apa ni?

-Buat binding kak

-Kenapa tak bagi kami je buat? 

-Sebab saya punk jawab aku angkuh, dalam hati.

 

Jauh dibelakang minda aku, ada benda yang patut aku ingat pasal binding tapi tak terlintas. Ah, lantaklah. Bila dah lama sangat tenung skrin, buat benda dengan dua tangan sendiri selain daripada menaip pun jadi syok.

 

Aku tak ingat dekat mana aku dengar atau baca tentang kenapa terdapat subjek Kemahiran Hidup disertakan dalam silibus sekolah rendah dan menengah oleh Madey. Ikut ceritanya Madey perhatikan bahawa di negara barat Handyman dibayar sedap untuk buat benda remeh seperti tukar mentol lampu, baiki paip dan lain-lain benda yang boleh je dibuat sendiri (Do-It Yourself). Madey being Madey dia pun tergerak hati nak suruh generasi baru rakyat Malaysia boleh buat sendiri baik pulih segala benda ini dan lebih lagi iatu dari bercucuk tanam, tukar tangki jamban flush, pateri papan elektronik, kerja kayu, masak nasik goreng, jahit baju dan banyak lagi lalu lahirlah subjek Kemahiran Hidup.

 

Punk jugak Madey ni.

 

Cerita pasal semangat DIY, aku ada terbaca di Amerika Syarikat berkenaan petani-petani yang bising dengan John Deere, iaitu pengeluar traktor dan peralatan pertanian yang meletakkan ‘software lock’ pada traktor dan peralatan pertanian yang mempunyai sistem perkomputeran supaya hanya jurubaiki dari pengedar yang sah sahaja boleh membuat sebarang baikpulih. Serupa juga macam ahem.. pencetak HP yang menyorokkan kod dalam security update bagi driver yang akan menolak sebarang dakwat pihak ketiga daripada digunakan.

 

Eh sukahati lah nak guna produk consumables OEM atau pihak ketiga atau nak baiki sendir ke apa. Sebagaimana perlu ada pilihan untuk beli produk kau, mesti juga ada pilihan untuk guna consumables pihak ketiga atau nak baiki sendiri. Apesal tak boleh pulak? Kalau warranty period tak habis lagi lain la cerita.

 

Setakat kali terakhir aku check hak untuk ‘right to repair’ di kalangan pengguna traktor John Deere masih belum lagi diputuskan dalam mana-mana Mahkamah di Amerika. Menarik juga bila difikirkan pasal ianya adalah pertembungan antara dua idea yang selalu dikaitkan dengan Amerika Syarikat itu sendiri iaitu freedom (termasuklah right to repair itu tadi) dan juga sistem hypercapitalism menjadi-jadi yang menjadi pedoman mereka setelah sekian lama. Yang mana akan prevail? Entah. Aku nak dok tepi kunyah popcorn.

 

Oh ya, bila menaip ini aku dah ingat kenapa aku dah lama tak buat binding dan minta tolong pupil atau kakak staff. Semuanya pasal tulang belakang aku yang mengingatkan. Sakit kemain. Nak urut sendiri tak boleh pulak.

 

Anyway,

 

Niat itu penting. Mula dengan benda mudah. Gosok baju sendiri, buat burger patty sendiri, sental jamban sendiri, basuh pinggan sendiri. Kita terlalu lentok dan lena di dodoi jingle konsumerism dan janji-janji kapitalis yang kata asal ada wang semua jalan. Selagi boleh buat sendiri kita cuba buat sendiri. Ada rasa bangga lain macam bila kau buat sesuatu dengan sendiri walaupun sedikit bengkok-bengkok sebab itu hasil kerja kau sendiri. Peluh, masa dan kesabaran kau sendiri yang digunapakai/keluar. Lain macam perasaan dia.

 

Simbahan air yang mengejut dari lena adalah PKP sewaktu COVID19 mengganas dahulu.  Bila dipaksa terperuk dalam rumah kita tak ada pilihan tapi untuk menilai semula apa kemahuan dan apa keperluan, skillset apa yang sangat perlu sampai ada mini revival DIY spirit itu dari suami yang belajar masak tak jadi pastu share di FB, carta sayur dan ikan yang disediakan untuk para suami pegi beli di pasar dan bermacam lagi. Sekarang? Entah. Aku tak tau sama ada kita sudah kembali kepada tabiat pra-PKP dahulu. Cukuplah jadi pengguna semata-mata hidup bertatang, makan berhidang.

 

Aku tulis pasal benda ini pun untuk ingatkan diri aku sendiri juga supaya bukak tali leher, selinsing lengan baju dan sental jamban pejabat dengan bersungguh-sungguh. Tak pun sesekali buat binding sendiri.

 

Baru la Punk.

Sekejap

Again, I was lucky to be upright and functioning this morning at Shah Alam court. Two nights prior a friend invited me to second chair for a case involving a restoration of a vintage piece of equipment by an expert. So last night I went to take a quick look at the cause papers and the documents to form a first impression of the matter. The owner claimed there was a guarantee given by the expert on time it would take, the expert said it was an estimate subject to payments and availability of replacement parts requested by the owner. The owner took his sweet time to make payments and yet expected fast results. When the restoration took longer than first estimated the owner cried, Fraud! and proceeded to file a legal suit against the expert. Mind you this is no mass produced junk being restored and yet the owner dared to expect a beautiful result in a short span of time and at minimal costs. As for me, in between catching up with the said friend, throwing around possible ideas for trial, that quick look lasted until the wee hours. Oh well, I got time.

Time.

Then on my drive back from Shah Alam Court, there was a discussion on the radio about Henry David Thoreau’s piece about walking. Being an unrepentant walker forced to work at the pace of fossil fuel driven madness this piqued my interest. It was said that walking is the most democratic activity one can indulge in. Everyone walks to certain extent be you a commoner as I am or some other hoity-toity titled entity. Sure walking takes time but that is the whole point. To take the time. I can confirm that most of my problems can be solved and have been solved by walking. It was that time between crossing streets and dodging puddles that allows my brain to make connections from two seemingly separate things or ideas. Solvitur Ambulando indeed. I ought to walk more. I used to walk a lot.

Speaking of walking and time, two days before, I went for a long walk at the local park with my youngest to get him some away time from screens (damned screens) and to look at greeneries and things. Something I noticed about public parks is that the people of working age are always either jogging or running with the look of ticking off an item from their mental to-do list in their eyes as if already thinking of things to do next after the jog while the old if they move at all, moved at a deliberate pace (early morning tai chi), slow walk on the pebbly strewn reflexology path. Unhurried, not pressed for time. Enjoying themselves. Whereas the very young switches between sudden bursts of energy at the playground to slow observation of all the wonders a park can offer. Why does taking time have to be the province of the retired and the very young? Why can’t us the working adults do the same? What’s the rush?

George Mac Donald, a friend of Lewis Carroll and one of the earliest pioneers of fantasy fiction once wrote:

"Certainly work is not always required of a man. There is such a thing as a sacred idleness, the cultivation of which is now fearfully neglected" 

When I first read that quote I was thumping the table in agreement and exclaiming By God, the man speaks the truth! (It is). Mind you this quote dates to 1870 where steam engines are an indispensable assets to all manner of industries which in turn spawned a frenzy of productivity and expansion (stim dowh). At that time Marx was working on the 2nd volume of Das Kapital, Scramble for Africa is but 10 years away and mechanization already had people working, working and working like mad. Perhaps, George Mac Donald was reminiscing on the days before steam, before the madness for capital and productivity. So, it is not really a modern problem after all, this rushing about here and there.

For me idleness is that it is that time between things where you just switch off for a bit. That bit where you live your life and feel alive, between trying to make a living and staying alive. That small bit (should be bigger anyways). That sunny, peaceful valley in between the mountains of madness of our daily life. It is there, we just have to find it. We just have to take the time for it.

I am trying to not make this a rail about the dangers of modern life but it seems that taking time has been taken for granted. Considered to be an old-fashioned thing, unproductive, even. To rush is productive, to run like hell is good, to be busy is to be looked upon favourably but where are we rushing off to, really?

During lunchtime, I came across an article from The Atlantic about procrastination being a productive state of being in terms of creative works. The said article was entitled The Antidote to the Cult of Self Discipline. Despite of its title it was more on the need to take time in order to create something beautiful rather than a rail against self discipline. Ok-lah, a rail it was but against productivity rather than against self-discipline. Of course there were references made to works done in defiance of the office hours and what constitutes as productive use of time but this line in particular caught my eye:

‘’ … it’s the strange mental collisions between the thinking mind and the wandering mind that yield the most interesting results. These are the moments when artistry sneaks in unbidden; Annabel understands that if art is created out of life, the latter has to have space to happen.’’

To this I wholeheartedly agree and say that it extends beyond creation of arts or artistry. It is not procrastination either. Rather, it is the time for ideas and thoughts to gel together. Besides, who or where was it said that we human beings do not learn from absorbing information. We learn from reflecting on things. Making connection from what we have absorbed with what we have experienced. Just like walking, that too, takes time.

If time is one of the natural order of things, then to take time is surely in accordance with nature.

Doughs need time for the yeast to do its magic, a chili plant even with fertilizers would need time to bear fruit. We still need time to rest and sleep to perform optimally for despite all the energy drinks and stimulants in the world nothing can ever compare to a good nights sleep and to be sure, there is a world of difference between an instant maggi asam laksa and lovingly crafted actual asam laksa. One is survival food, the other, soul food. And we ate far too many maggi asam laksa. We feed our body but forget to nourish our soul, thinking that accumulation of more and the quicker in the doing is better. Is it, really?

To be good, to produce good things is to take your time. Yet, we push ourselves pedal to the metal almost everyday in the name of productivity that taking your time is almost a dirty word. Is it any wonder that we are a society rife with anxieties, depression and all sorts of other mental and emotional issues. Nowadays, we know the value of time, we calculate it obsessively and bemoan its lack in terms of productivity but not of its meaning in relation to Life as a whole. Waiting, is for losers, Patience is a long-lost word. We have forgotten its meaning and somewhere along the way we drank the sirap (or Koolaid if you prefer it) of modernity and have joined the cult of speed.

Slow down.

Give a hug, a kiss, dance a slow dance with no music on. Invest in a full-on tickling contest with your kids. Build that Lego set with your kid. Walk or even run in the rain deliberately. A long walk in the morning or in the evening. Enjoy the sunrise or sunset. Sit on a park bench and observe people going by, observe from the smallest to the biggest of insects flying and crawling around. Be still. Take a deep breath. Take a break. Take a moment to distance yourself from the matter at hand. From your problem. From work. Let the world spin on while we just sit there, alive and yet not an active participant. Merely absorbing the world around us from our senses. Savouring the fact that we are alive, one of millions on this planet with our own dreams and expectations.

Surely, we have the time for that, while we are still alive.

Mengantuk

There was a time when two straight days of  sleeping after 3 am is nothing. I could still function normally. Nowadays, two days of sleeping late would need at least a week of extra sleep for me to recover else I’d be nothing but a zombie. Upright but not functioning. Not fit company for man or beast. Last time it happened I had a blank spot in my memory. One minute I was drafting something on my laptop then the next thing I knew, I was driving to Shah Alam court. I could not recall what happened in between the two. Today almost turned out the same way.

Last night I was catching up with work that somehow stretched out until the wee hours. Last night was the second consecutive day of going home terribly late. Thankfully I had a friend over to keep me company while we both work on our respective files. Slowly, in between tea, dinner and supper we chipped away at tasks which at first seemed mountainous. Somewhere in the middle a universe has its balance restored, souls were saved from eternal damnation and things were struck off a to-do list. 

Being engrossed with work I forgot until around 2 am that I had court matter this morning. A very light bankruptcy matter. We had to amend our Request for the issuance of Bankruptcy Notice because of a small defect. The funny thing is, the Bankruptcy Notice was issued anyway by the court. So in the interest of keeping things shipshape we filed an amendment application for the Request for the issuance of Bankruptcy Notice. I was sleepy, so sleepy that it was a miracle I arrived in court at all. I registered my attendance at the kiosk but did not look for a seat for me to wait. I dare not sit down for fear of falling asleep and missing my turn when my case number is called in that mechanical voice. It was that bad. I went to the men’s room to splash some water on my face. That kept me alert for a few minutes. So I paced to and fro hoping that by constantly moving I can keep sleep at bay. It worked. 

The thing about pacing around the room of got me thinking of how some things never change. The carpeting that was around since I was a pupil and still comfortingly ugly. The seating and the same faces (ok, some of them) I’ve seen seated upon them. Well the metal benches were fairly new. I think. The same with the kiosk where you key in your attendance. I could not remember how it was before the kiosks were around save one particular period between before the kiosks came into the picture and the old system where it was free for all, utter chaos where you had to write your name on the list pasted outside the respective rooms, line up to wait for your turn in accordance to some order agreed upon by all. Sometimes lawyers would find a way to cut the queue with whatever excuse, genuine or otherwise. Usually, I would skip the lining up altogether and come in at a time I judge to be not too late to be invite reprimand and yet not too early to have me stuck in a long queue like the rest of the debt recovery lawyers. If I get paid for every minute I spent on waiting, I would have had my own yacht by now.

Then my case number was called, which was surprising. It was not a long wait and it cut short my reverie. 

The cute Penolong Kanan Pendaftar looked like she could use a few more hours of sleep. As for myself, I can almost feel my rational brain leaking out of me as I sank into that soft seat. Sleep. Blessed long sleep. I could use one right about then. I felt a yawn coming. A big one. Yawns are contagious. You can tell who is looking at you in a crowded place by faking a yawn. If someone else is yawning immediately after you, chances are he or she is looking at you for whatever reason. But I must not yawn, not in front of the PKP. So I made that face where you are trying hard to suppress a yawn but to hell with it lets just yawn but discreetly and without opening your mouth. Then I saw the PKP doing the same but in a more ladylike manner. Like I said, contagious. 

-Uhh Dengan izin Puan, I began to cut short any other collective displays of sleep deprivation. I explained the reason for me being before her, the defect and the application made to remedy the potential defect only to have the PKP stare at me unblinking. A few seconds passes before she asked: JD (Judgment Debtor) hadir tak?

-Uhh, saya cuba panggil Puan I said unthinking as I rose and walked to the door intending to call out the JD’s name as was the custom  before remembering there was no need to do so. I turned and sat right back down. The PKP looked at me, puzzled and sleepy.

-Puan, kami sedari kekhilafan di dalam Permintaan untuk Mengeluarkan Notis Kebankrapan sebelum sebarang cubaan serahan kertas kausa dibuat kepada JD. Saya tidak rasa JD akan hadir pada pagi ini.

-Jadi Puan, saya dengan rendah diri memohon untuk kebenaran diberikan bagi kami membuat pindaan bagi kekhilafan yang berlaku. 

-Uhh, counsel, you have to make a formal application and not oral application like this.

It was my turn then to stare unblinking at the PKP. Man, she really needs more than a few hours of sleep. She needs it more than I do. 

-Puan,kami telah memfailkan permohonan untuk meminda yang mana telah ditetapkan untuk pendengaran pada pagi ini.

-Ah, I see. Sebentar ya counsel, said the PKP no doubt trying to mentally slap her cheeks to keep herself awake and concentrate on the matter at hand. If she was embarrassed she gave no sign of it. She spent some time, I think, scrolling through the cause papers filed. I kept my gaze down afterwards, pretending to writing things on my court minute, trying to suppress a smile at the minor confusion. It happens, even to the best of us when we lack sleep. 

Cause papers in order, I thanked the PKP and left the room and let out a big yawn. To hell with the lawyers waiting for their turn. They all look like they could use an hour or more of sleep. 

Don’t we all?

I didn’t check if there were any follow up yawns coming from the thinning crowd. I was going to get me some sleep. A good, long sleep. 

Mak

 

Where do I even begin.

Mak pernah cakap dengan aku dulu, Hidup ni umpama tayar. Kadang-kadang di atas. Kadang-kadang di bawah. Bila dah tua bangka ni baru faham maksudnya apa. Menang bukan selalu, kalah bukan selamanya. Hidup ada cara untuk buat kau rasa humbled bila perlu dan memberi motivasi untuk terus berjalan tatkala kau rasa kena hempuk bertalu-talu dengan nasib tak baik. 

Macam itulah kut kehidupan Mak. Dia bukan datang dari keluarga senang. Susah sangat pun tak jugak. Middle class la kut. Arwah Atuk dulu kerja dengan British Army, jadi Chief Clerk katanya sampai disiplin ketat tu dibawak balik ke rumah. Memang patut pun. Adik beradik mak ramai. Dia antara paling muda. Belajar pun bukan jurusan professional. Tapi pelajaran Mak paling besar bukan dari universiti. Ayat klisenya mak belajar dari kehidupan, lebih tepat lagi kehidupan lepas universiti. Dan kehidupan Mak  banyak mengajar aku.

Mak banyak kali disalahanggap sebagai seorang peguam. Satu, from time to time dia akan pakai hitam putih bila pegi kerja dan lagi satu dan paling penting, dia tak takut dengan sesiapa. Dia nampak ada yang tak kena pada tempatnya, benda tak betul, memang dia akan tegur, memang dia akan bebel. Dia akan gaduh(mulut) kalau perlu. Berdarah la telinga, tersiat-siatlah ego kau kalau kena. Itu satu skill tak turun sepenuhnya pada aku. Aku man of peace. Most of the time-lah. 

Masa muda, baru berkahwin, Mak dengan Abah rajin mengumpul majalah National Geographic. Majalah berkulit kuning inilah yang menjadi tingkap pertama aku pada dunia. Bila Mak meningkat usia dia mula baca buku-buku Stephen Covey. Malcom Gladwell. Jenis-jenis buku macam tu. Buku self-help. Cerita pasal manusia, pasal cemana nak lengkapkan diri, baiki diri untuk menghadapi perangai manusia, nak menghadapi dunia. Agaknya dari situ aku pun mula minat menelaah pasal falsafah. Iyalah, falsafah ini pun berkisar tentang manusia, perangai manusia dan kehidupan. Sekarang bila dah tua Mak rajin menyelak buku agama, fikir pasal di Sana nanti pula. 

Mak memang sayangkan kami adik-beradik. Makan pakai semua cukup, tak kiralah waktu dia suri rumah sepenuh masa atau bila dia mula bekerja semula. Makan semua dia masak from scratch. The kind of food that sticks to your bones. Takde maknanya benda-benda instant ni. Aku cuma aktif makan megi bila dah masuk universiti. Kalau Mak masak, memang bertambah-tambah nasik. Bila di Kedah, aku rindu sambal tempe ikan bilis dia. Kadang-kadang sampai call tanya harini masak apa. Pastu kena bebel: tanya masak apa bukan boleh makan pun dia cakap. Aku balik dari Kedah kurus (ini bukan mitos) sampai ada sepupu tanya aku isap dadah ke. 

Itu, satu lagi skill dia yang tak turun pada aku. Memasak. Padahal itu survival skill penting tiap lelaki kena ada selepas menjahit. Takat goreng telur, nasik goreng cincai boleh lah. Tapi nak memasak sampai ramuan tu main agak-agak je campak tapi sedap menjadi, itu memang bukan kepakaran aku. Aku bukan Mak. 

Dia pernah kata dahulu, my children are my life. Dengan siapa sahaja dia tak bergaduh demi kami adik-beradik. Apa saja mak tak buat untuk besar kan kami. Sampaikan aku rasa dia betul-betul mula menikmati hidup ini bila kami dah besar panjang pasal dia sentiasa ada dengan kami. Sentiasa. Tapi iyalah, bila meningkat remaja, membesar mula lah nak melawan, little shits that we were. Konon nak melebar sayap. 

Dari masa ke semasa ada juga aku jenguk, bawak cucu-cucu dia buat teman kasi senyum tengok gelagat dua hero. Tapi tak selalu. Aku pun tak pasti kenapa. Sebenarnya tak ada alasan untuk aku tak luangkan masa dia sebagaimana dia banyak habiskan masa dengan kami waktu kecik dulu. Aku bukan kerja 9 to 5 pun. Aku bukan answerable pada sesiapa kecuali pada client. Entahlah. Mungkin kerana banyak titi-titi yang roboh tak boleh diseberangi kembali, simpang diambil yang tak boleh berpatah balik. 

Boleh jadi juga itu hanya alasan. Aku harap esok hari aku tak kena menjawab kenapa aku tak luangkan masa dengan dia masa dia masih ada. 

Baru baru ini hari lahir Mak. Dia hantar WhatsApp pada anak menantu pesan tentang akhirat. Pesan tentang rapuhnya kebergantungan pada manusia itu. People will fail you. Sometimes inadvertently. Sometimes deliberately. Kat situ aku tau Mak memang cakap dari pengalaman sendiri. A number of people failed Mak. If I am honest with myself, I might even count myself as one of them, inadvertently. Aku manusia, tak sempurna. Mak pun sama walaupun bagi aku dia the only superwoman in the world sebab lalui apa yang dia lalui untuk besarkan kami. Alhamdulillah jadi la juga orang kami adik beradik ni. 

Mak adalah produk generasi dia jadi sememangnya ada benda yang Mak dan aku tak sependapat. Tapi tak sependapat macam mana pun dia Mak aku. One and only. 

Kehidupan Mak ajar aku bahawa hidup tak adil tapi itu bukan alasan untuk kau tak berlaku adil pada orang lain. Mak ajar aku untuk take no shit from no one, untuk terus melawan dan terus melawan. Mak juga ajar bahawa a good pair of shoes are the best investment one can make. Dari Mak juga aku belajar untuk jangan harapkan orang untuk tolong kau kalau kau sendiri tak cuba tolong diri kau sendiri, bahawa sesungguhnya tak ada alasan untuk tak belajar. That everything and everyone is a lesson for you.

Aku tak tahu macam mana kehidupan bila Mak tak ada nanti. Kerana Mak sentiasa ada. That one constant in my life bila semua benda kejap-kejap berubah. 

Mungkin itu pelajaran terakhir dari Mak. Final lesson on growing up. That one day she will no longer be around to guide me (and nag me). My first and greatest teacher. My north star.

My mother. 

On Trades. Nothing owned, everything on Loan with interest to pay.

I lost my bands last Monday. It was one of the oldest relics of my pupillage. I remembered buying it at one of the stalls at the KL Court cafeteria (odd thing to be selling at a drinks stall) after an LA  where i read in chambers discovered that he had his robe but not his bands for a High Court hearing. I was at KL Court at that time obtaining JID's by the armload at one of the magistrate's court, the LA knew this. So he sent me an sms asking me to find a spare pair of bands post haste. So i did. 

It was nothing fancy. Just a polyester bands with velcro fasteners at the end instead of the usual bands on strings type. As a token of his gratitude for saving his (turkey) bacon the LA bought me a big McDonalds lunch. When asked about the band he said: Simpanlah. Saya dah jumpa saya punya terselit dalam kereta. Lagipun nanti awak mesti pakainya nanti. In the end it was a worthy trade for me. A big lunch for a cheap band that would later go around (most of) the peninsular with me. Later on i found out that you can rent the damned thing from the Bar Room for pittance. But of course it would be better to own one. 

Going back to last Monday, I was in hellfire rush to an appeal i was already late to (or so i thought) when i realized my bands were not where it was supposed to be. I was exactly where the aforementioned LA was years and years ago only there are no pupil for me to call upon. But it ended well. I got what i came for from the appeal but the price was a new pair of bands and the loss of an old one. A worthy trade?. It seems that way. 

Either way, it marked my ongoing passage from nowhere to somewhere.. Maybe one day, i will get There. 

I cannot truly own that win because many hands contributed to it to which i give thanks to, Hands of Fate is the first and obvious one, my colleagues, friends and mentors. But as aside, can one truly own anything really? Or is it just our desperate attempt to mark our brief presence here on this Earth. Our means of saying: i was here.  

Anyway, of course it felt weird using a new pair of bands in front of a  judge I have never appeared before in an area of law i am not familiar with but it was a transition of sorts, something old for something new and a reminder for me that bands, relationships and jobs, they don't last forever and that the two certain thing in Life is Change and Death. 

On Investment Scams

 

Yesterday, the Friday khutbah was about looking for rezeki halal or gains made in the permissible way. In the Khutbah there was a vicious poke at online scammers on whether in the race to accumulate riches in fastest way possible it is rezeki halal (it is not). If it is in the khutbah then things are that bad.

This is not a khutbah. This is just a reflection of mine after having been involved in court cases stemming from scams. More specifically, investment scams. To be clear, I am not an expert on investment scams. I just happen to encounter them regularly for some reason.

 

A.     Scammers show and tell a good story, but not the whole story.

Here is a scenario for you to consider. A nephew who is known to be leeching off his aging parent’s income, no visible employment of what so ever. All the sudden a guy who is known to borrow Dad’s car brought home an expensive car (insert your preferred dream car here). Started to change the unshowered look for the well dressed look and talk about investments with relatives. Sembang crypto. Sembang puluh ribu. Sembang kencang.

Of course the earlier image of a deadbeat is hard to shed with relatives but one gullible uncle took a chance. After all, the investment is in Cryptocurrency and the deadbeat is the go to guy when it come to IT and cyber stuff. It ought to be a legitimate investment. It looks legit, there is a company website to monitor your investment. There is a physical office and the nephew even brought him to see one of the directors for heavens sake!. Confirm legit!

The gullible uncle starts to see the returns in three months time. Pump in RM 10,000.00 and get RM 5000.00 every month for 3 years. Guaranteed. Gullible uncle is now the perpetually smiling uncle. But then looking at the nephews new car the thought crossed his mind, He asked the nephew, how long has he been doing the investment? 6 months replied the nephew sheepishly.

The uncle did the maths. Impossible for the nephew to pump capital to get the kind of returns to afford the car. Even his parents could not raise that kind of capital being retired teachers. When pressed for details the nephew relented. Don’t tell anybody else. I made what I made from my downlines. For every downline I recruit I will get a certain sum every month. The more downlines I have, the more I can make in a month. Exit gullible uncle, enter greedy uncle. Wife, friends, surau members. All fair prospects. All happy, all swimming in money until one day the payments stops, the website went offline. The deadbeat went uncontactable, could not be located. Just plain gone. The physical office is now empty, unoccupied. Angry downlines began to chase after greedy uncle. Dreams of easy life turned into a nightmare. All because he took the bait. The expensive car being the bait. The seemingly to an extra cherry on top of an already profitable (scam) investment.

In a best case scenario the story ends with just loss of money and reputation for the greedy/gullible uncle. Worse case scenario, police reports are made, prosecution in criminal courts and civil suit by investor/downlines to follow.

This is a familiar old story. The difference would be the scam. It could be Palm Oil Investment in Thailand, Investing Coco Plantation in Gabon, Halal Hub investment with cryptocurrency baked into the deal, Insurance cum Investment Account or some Cryptocurrency scam belatedly riding on the already stale success stories of Bitcoin, or whatever. All the story had to do is to part you from your hard earned money. Greed will do the rest.

1.      It starts with Friends and Family

It always began with friends and family. Just like MLM schemes. But I find the middle aged to the elderly are more susceptible to investment scams than the younger generation. It could be because there are the ones with the money to spare. The young are hopelessly broke (okay, maybe not all). So if a friend you have not been in contact with for so long or a nephew or niece suddenly shows up with all the trappings of the newly rich and telling you that you can be like him or her too, beware. If not for yourself, for your aging parents or relatives.

 

2.      Too Good to be True.

Study the brochure or prospectus if there is one. There are bound to be something wrong with the actual document. Crappy printing. Typos. The investment product will sound something similar with a legitimate investment product except this one is better and more profitable (according to the scammer lah). All fluff words or grand promises of better returns than actual investments on the market which at first blush sounds too good to be true (because it is not true). If you are lucky there will be a comparison table. The emphasis will be solely on the profit and nary a word on the risk factor.  With that, it plays into the greed/ hope factor. Okay, maybe greed is too harsh of a word. Let us call it hope then. Hopes of expanding the college funds of one’s children. Hopes of building a bigger and better nest egg for the old age. Hopes of making extra money. Scams prey on that hope.  

 

3.      Consistent Returns, too consistent.

Another signs of a scam would be the consistent payout every month regardless of rumblings of war in Middle East, dropping oil prices, change of government in Malaysia. It would seem that real world happenings has no bearing at all on the investments. Share prices on the Bursa would rise or dip accordingly, the goings on on the Composite Index would affect your Unit Trust investment, even Crypto currencies values ebbed and flowed according to the latest news. Even periodic interest payments of bonds will rise and fall according to interest rates. But not this investment(scam). This investment (scam) impervious to harm. Or so you thought. There is one case where the victim received RM 5000 every month as the returns until the scam imploded at which point the victim received nothing but scorn from relatives who joined the investment at the victims insistence.  The point is, investment scams are immune to fluctuations and this is because they are not real investments rooted in the real world. They are as fake as China copy LV handbags.

 

4.      Short shelf life

From my observations, most scam investments will collapse within 3 years from the date money changed hands. So if in the course of convincing you to invest the number 3 years is thrown around, take care. It could be a scam. My theory is that the convoluted transaction of using Investor C to pay for Investor B’s monthly return while simultaneously using Investor A to pay for Investor D's monthly return creates a tangled web of deceit that will collapse on its own weight after a time. In one particular case the scammer wickedly proclaimed to the victims that their investments will mature at the end of 3 years after which the principle sum and the returns can be collected. By the time that 3 years is almost over the scammer had already milked what could be milked from the unsuspecting victims and are ready to disappear.

 

B.     Minimizing the risk

 

If its looks suspicious and sounds suspicious, check

If the alarm bells are ringing in your head about a proposed investment promising high and consistent yield, get independent verification whether it is the real deal. One way to do that is to go to this PDRM website and this Bank Negara website. The PDRM website is butt ugly but it allows you to check for scams by way of bank account number used, company name or telephone number used for all kinds of scams including investment scams. The Bank Negara Website is more basic but you will find what you are looking for, most of the time and, I consider the BNM list much authoritative since BNM is the body responsible to issue licenses for financial institutions including investment companies and such. So if BNM says it’s an investment scam, it is an investment scam. If the suspicious financial product being offered to you is listed on the Financial Consumer Alert List, kindly tell the scammer that you are not interested and do your duty as a citizen and lodge a police report. Who knows how many life savings and nest egg you will be saving.

Some, not all.

If you keep in mind Items 1 to 4 above, and still think a suspicious looking investment is not a scam and worth venturing into then no power on earth can stop you from investing but for God’s sake please just invest a small sum of your own money. Not your father's, not your mother's, not your aunt or uncle's, not your schoolmate's money. Invest (if you really insist on investing) the sum you are willing to lose. This will vary from a person to person It could be RM 100, could be RM 50,000. If you are not willing to lose any money then don’t invest. Remember the old saying of not putting all your eggs in one basket. Maybe an egg or two will do.

Downlines and investments to greater misery

Like I said, if you are still adamant on investing in a suspicious sounding investment, invest only your own money. Don’t volunteer to take up deposits for would be investor/victims. Don’t fall for the recruitment aspect of the scam investments promising more returns for more recruits or nak kongsi rezeki and what have you. The reason is because it is an offence under Section 137 of the Financial Services Act 2013 (''FSA 2013'') which provides as follows:

‘’ 137.   (1)   No person shall accept deposits except under a licence granted under section 10 regardless of whether the transaction is described as a loan, an advance, an investment, a savings, a sale or a sale and repurchase or by whatever name called. (2)   Any person who contravenes subsection (1) commits an offence and shall, on conviction, be liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding ten years or to a fine not exceeding fifty million ringgit or to both.’’

Since the investment sounds too good to be true, chances are it is a scam. Since it is a scam it won’t be licensed by Bank Negara Malaysia to operate. Don't fall for the line: we are in the process of applying for Bank Negara license. No license, no authorized to accept deposit. That simple. Since the purported investment is not licensed anybody accepting deposits on behalf of the so called investment is open to prosecution under the above mentioned Section 137 of FSA 2013.

Alternatively, should you have made the unwise decision to collect deposits for the scam you can also be prosecuted for cheating and dishonestly inducing delivery of property under Section 420 of the Penal Code which provides as follows:

‘’ Cheating and dishonestly inducing delivery of property

420. Whoever cheats and thereby dishonestly induces the person deceived, whether or not the deception practised was the sole or main inducement, to deliver any property to any person, or to make, alter, or destroy the whole or any part of a valuable security, or anything which is signed or sealed, and which is capable of being converted into a valuable security, shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than one year and not more than ten years and with whipping, and shall also be liable to fine.’’

As for the civil side of things, in most civil suit for investment scams, the pissed off downlines will go after their uplines or the ones who talked them into joining the scam most of the time. Having the scamming entity as a Defendant was almost unheard of. At least for me. So, most of the time the upline/recruiter will be the one having to compensate the downlines for their loss while the actual mastermind makes a clean getaway. Don’t let yourself be the patsy. Rein in that greed. Keep your hands off other people’s money/life savings.

Are the losses recoverable?

Not really. You can initiate legal suit in court to recover the losses but unless you drag in the scam company (if it is a registered company in Malaysia but that is highly unlikely. Some I have encountered are based in China or non-existent) I would say there is very little chance of recovering your losses either from the scam company, entity or from the scum sorry scam agent you once called nephew or niece. Most of the time the money collected had already been spent on God knows what. If you are unlucky, the money might still be there but will be forever beyond your reach because it is forfeited by the Government as proceeds of illegal activities. But, no harm in trying though. Who knows, you might be lucky to recover your loss. 

What about the Police, can’t they help me get back my money?

Unfortunately, the police and the criminal courts are not your debt collectors. They investigate, prosecute and punish scammers. Under no circumstances will they recover your money lost in investment scams for you hence my plea to only invest what you are willing to lose if you are really keen on investing.  

In the end

These investment scams prey on the financially illiterate and feeds on blind hope or greed of the victims. Financial education is a must as much as a healthy dollop of skepticism when it comes to parting with your hard earned money. Be vigilant. 

 

 

On CPD, Learning and the absurdity of trying to force learning on the unwilling

Those who know me would know how I honour and respect learning in its every form. But the CPD scheme, Man. CPD Scheme just grinds my gears. They piss me off. During the last AGM there was a resolution to start enforcing the collection of COD points. Failure to collect CPD points within the set period will result in fine being imposed. I was fuming when I read that email update. 

How on God’s green earth are BC going to enforce the damned thing when you cannot even stamp out touting in courts, in KL Court at the very least.

Perhaps I am lamenting a done deal (I was there, years ago when it came to pass) but regardless it must be said that the implementation of CPD itself is not equal, there are two classes of practitioners according to the CPD guide. So whatever happened to Section 35(1) LPA? A case of some practitioner more equal than others? Seniority and health conditions ought not to be the dividing line between practitioners. The law and its practice changes from time to time and it affects all practitioners regardless of seniority or health conditions. Either it applies to all practitioner or it applies to none. Don’t talk about lofty ideals like equality high up in the clouds, live them down here in the muds like the rest of us. Its all or none. There is no in between. 

If the enforcement is meant to force learning on practitioners, then there is a danger that its sparks the race to collect points, not to learn. Learning ought be from one's own volition. There is no learning of what you think you already know. Let Nature take its course. Those who are not willing to learn and keep themselves up to date will stagnant and lose their value and appeal to their clients. Their ego will be their own undoing.They will be culled as a matter of course. 

Instead of punishments for lack of necessary points, incentivize the collection of points. Give meaning to the collection of points. Right now there is no meaning to the collection of points. All i gather is that if you do not have enough, you will be penalized by way of fines (as per the motion passed recently) that is when the LPA is amended. Points does not give you discounts on the sijil annual or Bar dues, it does not convert into petrol money ala Mesra card or Setel. So what does the points signify? Really.

Times are hard. Tap into this. The CPD points does not have to be convertible to cash, just make things easier for practitioner especially younger practitioners. Maybe, points could be used to obtain discount on legal texts. Even the most reluctant, book-shy practitioner will have to crack open a book at some point in their practicing life. Incentivize that. Maybe the points could be used to obtain a discount on their yearly dues. Or perhaps, the points could be carried over as Mesra or Setel points. Days of cheap fuel are long over. Point is, give meaning to the CPD points. Use it to make life easier for practitioners. Then, the accumulation of points will be a natural thing to do for a practitioner. 

Speaking of touting and CPD points, BC has ineffective in combating touting. That is a fact. But a fact that can be changed. I say set a lawyer practicing criminal law to catch a tout. These lawyers knew the touts, knew the lawyers that relies on these touts. So lets clear the corridors. Make the Criminal Bar to be self-policing, self-regulating by providing them with the motive to do so. The days of touts running wild in the court are over. They should be over.  To do so, one must incentivize these lawyers. Let then this self-policing, these rukun tetangga like activity be CPD point worthy. Hell, call it bounty hunting if you have to. Perhaps, this is the way. 

In the same vein, list doing YBGK work as one of the activities that generates CPD points. In the CPD Guidelines, attending Part 1 and 2 of the YBGK training only earns your 5 CPD point for your entire practicing life. Well, what about actively doing YBGK work then? As an aside, the minimum 1 year of practice requirement for young lawyers to attend the Part 1 and Part 2 YBGK training is nonsense. The whole idea is to train the attendees to do YBGK work regardless of years of practice. You want the young to learn and contribute and then you gatekeep the damned thing. Ridiculous.

Leaving aside the Remand, Reduction of Bail and Mitigation work, God knows there are YBGK files waiting to be adopted. Give hungry young lawyers the chance to work the files. Further, if doing YBGK work is listed as activities that gives one CPD point (preferably more) then perhaps there won’t be any issues of unadopted YBGK files since in racing to collect CPD points practitioners would fight for the right to be assigned YBGK files. With more lawyers doing YBGK work, hopefully more funds will be allocated to allow for timely payment of claims and improve YBGK training. The unrepresented is represented, the lawyer gets CPD points and some money from the YBGK files. Now you kill two, nay three birds with one stone.

Incentive is not a dirty word. Love it. Use it. 

Practitioners need to be knowledgeable and learned. I get it. Just I get it when there is no forcing an unwilling mind. There are times for the application of the cudgel to a particular problem but not every time and to every problem. Sometimes the way of the Carrot can be superior than a wielded cudgel.  

Apa Cerita?

Dah lama anak-anak aku tak minta dibacakan cerita sebelum tidur pasal mereka dah makin membesar. Jadi terkejut juga bila satu malam yang paling sulung cakap: Abah, can you tell me a story?

Lalu aku pun bagi condensed version Sinbad the Sailor dari apa yang aku ingat pasal malas nak pegi cari bukunya dekat mana. Tak sampai 10 minit terus senyap semua tertidur. Mungkin aku patut buka channel YouTube membaca hikayat-hikayat lama untuk mereka yang mempunyai masalah untuk tidur. Silap haribulan aku sekali tertidur.

Aku dibesarkan dalam keluarga yang terpesona dengan cerita. Mak dan Abah memang kuat membaca. Bermacam buku dan majalah ada di rumah. Pelbagai majalah termasuk majalah memasak, jurnal National Geographic, buku-buku paperback abah, ensiklopedia yang Mak dapat dari entah mana. Tak cukup nak buat perpustakaan tapi cukup banyak untuk sebuah keluarga kecil. Ada sekali tu pulak Mak bawak balik satu ikat besar majalah ketenteraan pasal dia tahu aku suka benda sebegitu. Mana dia dapat pun tak tau. Senyum melebar aku. Mereka (Mak & Abah) pun rajin membelikan kami adik beradik buku-buku cerita dari kecil lagi demi mengalakkan kami membaca. Abah pula memang kaki bercerita. Ada sahaja cerita dia dari bagaimana Ammonia disintesis pada zaman dahulu kala, kenapa Ikan Jelawat di panggil Sultanfish dalam Bahasa Inggeris dan cerita-cerita hantu dia. Dengan suasana sedemikian kami adik beradik sedikit sebanyak mempunyai appreciation kepada cerita yang bagus. Jadi tidak menghairankan kenapa kami bertiga kini berada dalam bidang yang masing-masing memerlukan sedikit sebanyak penceritaan dalam melaksanakan tugas masing-masing.

Cerita pasal cerita dan penceritaan, dulu waktu masa baru masuk sekolah menengah aku jumpa satu salinan VCD filem Amistad di rumah nenek. Kualiti memang hampeh. Siap boleh ada satu part tu kamera tersenget dan ada tangan yang tegakkan kembali. Bunyi bergaung. Memang terang-terang copy dari panggung wayang.

Pada waktu itu jalan cerita pun faham sikit-sikit. Ada sekumpulan orang Afrika yang diculik dari benua Afrika kemudian di bawa berlayar ke Dunia Baru untuk dijadikan hamba. Mereka melepaskan diri dan membunuh sebahagian daripada anak kapal dan mengambil alih kapal. Tau-tau je ada di Amerika, di bawa ke mahkamah. Dituduh membunuh tapi lepas kerana kejadian diluar perairan Amerika Syarikat. Kemudian dibawa pula ke mahkamah sivil hingga ke Mahkamah Agung dimana persoalan yang timbul adalah sama ada mereka orang bebas atau hamba yang mana milikannya dipertikaikan kerana ada tuntutan bertindan. Pemilik kapal Amistad pun tuntut, kapten kapal Revenue yang menawan kembali kapal dalam perairan Amerika Syarikat juga menuntut. Salvage katanya.

Watak peguam yang dimainkan Matthew McConaughey yang nama dia aku tak ingat diupah oleh orang-orang kuat persatuan anti perhambaan bagi mewakili kumpulan orang Afrika tersebut. Cemana dia wakil pun tak tau lah pasal nak bercakap dengan anak guam pun serupa ayam dengan itik. Di mahkamah jenayah lepas. Mahkamah rendah sivil pun lepas. Tapi bila masuk ke Mahkamah Agung dia pun angkat tangan menyerah, kena cari big gun. Di sini masuknya John Quincy Adams yang dimainkan oleh Sir Anthony Hopkins.

Antara benda pertama yang dikatakan oleh John Quincy Adams adalah seperti berikut:

John Quincy Adams: Well, when I was an attorney, a long time ago, young man, I err… I realized, after much trial and error, that in the courtroom, whoever tells the best story wins. In un-lawyerlike fashion, I give you that scrap of wisdom free of charge.

Pada waktu itu aku memang tak ambil tahu pasal amalan undang-undang atau pun bermimpi akan jadi pengamal. Aku dengar dialog di atas dan terus aku duduk tegak dari sebelumnya duduk bersandar malas.

Interesting.

Lepas dialog tersebut, babak ini pula yang buat aku terpana, melopong:

John Quincy Adams: What is their story, by the way?

Theodore Joadson: Sir?

John Quincy Adams: What is their story?

Theodore Joadson: Why, they’re um… they’re from west Africa.

John Quincy Adams: No. What is their story?

Theodore Joadson: [exhales and looks confused]

John Quincy Adams: Mr. Joadson, you’re from where originally?

Theodore Joadson: Why, Georgia, sir.

John Quincy Adams: Georgia.

Theodore Joadson: Yes, sir.

John Quincy Adams: Does that pretty much sum up what you are? A Georgian? Is that your story? No you’re an ex-slave whose devoted his life to the abolition of slavery, and overcoming the obstacles and hardships along the way, I should imagine. That’s your story, isn’t it?

Theodore Joadson: [smiles and nods]

John Quincy Adams: [laughs] You and this young so-called lawyer have proven you know what they are. They’re Africans. Congratulations. What you don’t know, and as far as I can tell haven’t bothered in the least to discover, is who they are. Right?

Perbualan ini membuatkan sesuatu dalam kepala aku click. Something fell into place. Stories do have power. Butiran lain film Amistad ini aku tak ingat tapi dialog ini memang aku ingat. Aku cari dan tengok balik Amistad kerana dialog ini. Tentang pentingnya cerita.

Babak John Quicy Adams berhujah dihadapan panel hakim Mahkamah Agung bagaimana perjuangan yang masih belum selesai American Revolution adalah perang bagi memastikan kesaksamaan semua manusia sepertimana ditulis dalam Declaration of Independence, John C. Calhoun buat ugutan nak berperang semata mengekalkan sistem perhambaan, mungkin betul, boleh jadi juga tak berapa nak tepat. Sama seperti babak salah seorang warga Afrika yang terperangkap di atas La Amistad, Cinque yang melaung berulang kali give us us free dari kandang pesalah. Tapi, itu yang membuatkan penceritaan itu menjadi menarik, kalau pun sama ada benar-benar terjadi atau tak itu sesuatu yang boleh dipersoalkan.

Kalau dalam satu cerita yang hebat boleh dikatakan aku terinspirasi untuk mengambil jurusan undang-undang dan kemudiannya mengamal kerana mendengar menonton di layar hujahan John Quincy Adams itu tapi hidup aku hidup biasa bukan produksi Hollywood. Mana pulak dramatik. Aku belajar undang-undang pasal mak aku suruh. Aku jadi peguam pasal itu apa yang diharapkan, natural progression of things.

Nampak tak? semuanya bergantung kepada macam mana kau menyampaikan cerita. Kena ada sedikit element nasik tambah dan rencah. Those Hollywood embellishments. Tapi kalau kau nak letak adegan tari menari pun tak salah. Ikut target audience.

Ambil satu lagi contoh dari filem. Kali ini filem Tim Burton berjudul Big Fish. Tim Burton ini banyak bikin filem-filem yang fantastical, whimsical dan outlandish seperti Edward Scissorhands, The Nightmare before Christmas, Corpse Bride, Batman yang ada Jack Nicholson memainkan watak Joker, Batman Returns yang ada Michelle Pfeiffer melakonkan watak Catwoman. Itu yang aku ingat.

Big Fish ini berkenaan seorang anak lelaki dan bapaknya yang suka sembang kencang. Telling tall tales. Berkawan dengan gergasi lah, dikejar nenek kebayan lah, selamatkan kembar siam sewaktu Perang Korea lah, kerja di sarkaslah, jumpa pekan pelik ditengah hutan lah hinggakan anak dia naik menyampah dan membesar dengan menjauhkan diri dari bapanya. Bila dah besar pula jadi wartawan mengejar cerita betul dan bukan mengada-adakan cerita macam bapaknya.

Bila bapanya itu jatuh sakit, si anak itu membuat keputusan untuk menyiasat betul ke tidak cerita-cerita bapaknya itu. Sikit demi sedikit dia sedar yang bapaknya sembang tak sekencang yang dia sangka. Bila bapaknya meninggal dunia hampir semua watak-watak dalam cerita bapaknya itu datang ke upacara pengebumian. Ringmaster sarkas, si kembar yang bukan siam, si gergasi.

Boleh jadi filem ini adalah gentle reminder kepada para bapak untuk jangan sembang kencang sangat. Sikit-sikit takpe. Mungkin juga apa yang nak disampaikan adalah kadang-kadang cerita yang kita anggap merepek itu adalah satu kebenaran yang ditokoktambah dan disusun atur semula urutannya.

Cerita pasal urutan. Tak kisah cerita zaman mana atau medium apa pun yang kau baca atau tengok atau main, urutannya akan lebih kurang sama. Ada watak utama dan sesuatu berlaku pada watak utama. Benda yang berlaku itu membuatkan watak utama berbuat sesuatu tak kiralah mencari sesuatu atau seseorang dan sewaktu pencarian itu berlaku akan ada watak sampingan yang masuk cerita. Boleh jadi love interest. Boleh jadi figura mentor. Boleh jadi sidekick, atau watak badut. Watak antagonis juga diperkenalkan untuk menghalang pencarian atau pun dia pun turut sama mencari benda/orang sama yang dicari watak utama. Kemuncak pencarian tersebut akan mengubah karakter dan persepsi watak utama hinggakan dia tidak dapat kembali kepada kehidupan lama kerana beliau bukan orang yang sama pada permulaan cerita. Itu adalah asas kepada sesebuah cerita setakat yang aku ingat dari pembelajaran aku.

Kalau dalam Mahkamah, aku rasa contoh paling mudah untuk menggunapakai teknik penceritaan adalah sewaktu mitigasi bagi mengurangkan hukuman kes jenayah. Mahkamah anggap cerita OKT dah separuh jalan pasal dah ada nombor kes, dah ada pertuduhan bermaksud dah ada (sedikit sebanyak) penyiasatan dan OKT sudah mengaku bersalah. Perkara yang mengubah hidup Watak Utama dah terjadi pun. Hidup dia takkan sama seperti dulu.

Tugas peguam yang membuat mitigasi adalah untuk bercerita tentang OKT sebelum dan sewaktu pengakuan salah direkodkan. Dah kahwin ke, bakal berkahwin ke. Anak berapa, kerja kat mana. Mak Bapak ada lagi ke tidak. Lepas tu kaitkan dengan kesalahan yang dah dibuat. Sudah tentu kena cakap tentang pengakuan salah telah menjimatkan masa dan kos mahkamah. Cerita juga tentang tempoh masa reman. Dari pemerhatian aku, selalunya tempoh reman ini akan dikaitkan dengan masa untuk merenung kembali (aku suka guna terma muhasabah diri) dan menyesali perbuatan yang telah dilakukan. Kalau OKT berbangsa melayu dan Hari Raya bakal menjelang tiba, kaitkan dengan kenapa denda perlu minimum (hukum OKT, bukan hukum anak OKT sampai tak ada baju raya), kalau baru mula bulan Ramadan kaitkan bulan keampunan dengan keampunan dari Mahkamah demi meringankan hukuman. Kalau OKT berbangsa India, dan ada perayaan yang disambut bangsa India dalam tempoh masa terdekat gunakan. Hujahkan kenapa penjara bukan hukuman paling sesuai (OKT anak seorang, jangan hukum Mak Bapak untuk Deepavali, Vaisakhi) dan seterusnya bagi lain-lain kaum. Tengok OKT betul-betul. Kalau tempang tanya kenapa. Kalau gigi semua luruh tanya kenapa dan gunakan sebagai sebab untuk mengurangkan hukuman. Mitigasi adalah peluang untuk jadi tukang cerita yang kreatif menampilkan cerita bagi menarik kepada rasional dan juga emosi Hakim. Hakim atau Majistret hari-hari (kecuali cuti umum) dengar Rayuan mengurangkan hukuman yang sambil lewa maka tak mengejutkan kalau dia pun dah jadi lali. Jadi lain daripada yang lain. Tarik perhatian. Tell a damn good story.

Itu kalau mitigasi. Kalau bicara pula lain cerita. Panjang cerita. Banyak persediaan yang perlu dibuat. Jangan tertipu dengan lagak tenang Harvey Specter et al. Pejabat kemas licin tak ada fail pastu bawak bawa bicara kes tak tengok fail.

Anyway, ada banyak buku yang lagi cekap menerangkan penceritaan sewaktu perbicaraan. Salah satunya, The Malaysian Guide to Advocacy. Ada banyak lagi buku dalam list suggested readings dia. Paling pendek dan kegemaran aku: The Golden Rules of Advocacy, Keith Evans.

Tapi, untuk dipendekkan cerita, anologi yang boleh digunakan adalah sewaktu perbicaraan peguam adalah direktor filem yang menyampaikan cerita melalui saksi-saksi dan bukti-bukti yang dikumpul dan soal balas saksi lawan/pendakwaan dan berlandaskan kepada kaedah-kaedah prosedur dan keterangan. Cuma kau tak boleh sambil artistic license dengan kebenaran (the whole truth and nothing but the truth) dan adegan tari-menari adalah sangat tidak digalakkan.

Bila dah habis perbicaraan dan masuk fasa hujahan bertulis itu yang betul-betul ada peluang untuk peguam bercerita kenapa kes beliau lagi bermerit dari kes lawan. Kebiasaannya apa yang berlaku adalah ianya akan jadi arms race. Semua nak buat hujahan sepanjang mungkin, Ikatan Autoriti setebal mungkin. Kalau boleh nak lagi tebal dari Lloyd’s Introduction to Jurisprudence. Semua kes kau nak letak. Gila. Susah nak bind Ikatan Autoriti yang tebal-tebal ni. Kebas tangan guna mesin binding.

Pengamal veteran dan bekas-bekas hakim ada menceritakan tentang waktu dahulu yang ada cuma Hujahan Lisan dan tak ada Ikatan Autoriti ni. Hanya ada bakul autoriti pasal tak ada mesin fotostat dan printer saiz kecil pun belum ada zaman tu. Sekarang Hujahan Lisan ini banyak dibuat di Mahkamah Rayuan dan Mahkamah Persekutuan. Kalau ada peringkat Mahkamah Tinggi pun macam tak banyak. Di Mahkamah Rendah langsung lenyap amalan ini. Patutnya dihidupkan kembali. Jimat kertas dan boleh berpotensi pendekkan masa prosiding dan sekali gus selaras dengan polisi mengejar KPI.

Mengamal undang-undang ini adalah memainkan peranan sebagai tukang cerita bagi anak guam. Bercerita dan bergelumang dengan segala macam jenis cerita. Ada aku ternampak di LinkedIn itu hari ada yang mencadangkan untuk ada penceritaan dalam mendraf kontrak. Katanya cerita tentang pihak-pihak dan apa yang pihak-pihak harapkan dari kontrak tersebut. Aku termenung juga fikir macam mana nak bercerita dalam kontrak tapi aku rasa macam boleh dibuat. Undang-undang ini berkisar tentang menyusun atur hidup manusia dalam masyarakat. Macam mana boleh jadi di anggap dry subject pun aku tak tau. Hidup manusia ni mana pernah dry. Ada duka, ada jenaka. Ada juga tak masuk akal kadang-kadang.  Hidup kita ini adalah cerita. Kalau kau bernasib baik kau jadi mitos.