Scales

At a job interview a long time ago I was asked if work-life balance is important to me. The interviewer was a Malay man in his 40’s. I answered yes, work-life balance is important. The interviewer looked at me thoughtfully before moving on to something else and cracked a joke or two. I did not get the job. As I remembered it was an in house legal position. I am glad I did not get the job. I would probably die out of sheer boredom. After all at that point of time I used to mock 9 to 5 existence and office work as mundane and mediocre. Now, 9 to 5 workday looks like the sweetest dream ever to me.

After the interview i had put the question out of my mind as I lived my life operating my then micro-sized lawfirm doing what needed doing. Generally, having fun thinking this is what life is going to be 20-30 years down the road. How foolish I was. It was after the arrival of my eldest the question came back to taunt me. As the youngest came into the picture the question was further expanded to; is an 8 hour work day possible when you do contested cases on regular basis?

Slowly, I began to understand the importance of 8 hour workday for a family man. After all, people have died for it. I should not let them die in vain. Slowly but surely I became a committed believer of the 8 hour workday, even if it is not a reality for me, yet.

Back when they were too young for kindergarten the boys would do whatever it takes to stop me from leaving the house for work. On days I had court matters to attend to the usual run of things in the morning would be for one of them to quiz me where I intend to go when I had put on my white work shirt despite knowing full well that white shirt meant work. Then the I-don’t-want-you-to-go-to-work whines of protest would start before the blocking of the door (sometimes bodily). Depending on the mood the youngest might join in. Sometimes there were tears involved. Then the negotiations would begin and boy they were tough negotiators. At that point of time their protests seemed cute. Not so much nowadays. After a while I learned to tip toe around the house and to make as little noise as possible as to not wake them up early in the morning. That felt dirty. Whomever called the Law a demanding mistress had that down pat. It feels as if I am cheating on my family when I am actually just doing my job to provide for my family.

In the mean time I began looking for the answer to my question. All I heard were horror stories from fellow lawyers doing litigation of being called at 2-3 am by insane bosses asking for them to show up to deliver this and that or prepare this and that. Let us not even talk about weekends or what a crime it is to not have your mobile phone with you at all times. Work and life became one and the same, indivisible and indistinguishable. And I used to think my pupillage was tough (sleeping bag and lots of coffee). One story I heard from my then colleague was of his former boss who was a hardcore litigator in a niche area of the Law. Her family would come with packed dinner and would sat down for dinner with her at the office as a family. After dinner her husband and children would go home and she would be back to work drafting cause papers and preparing for trial. What a life. No, wait. Is that even life when the scales are overwhelmingly tilted in favour of work?

Now that they are older, the eldest and the youngest had stopped with the morning protests. Instead, a new weapon in their arsenal was to call me every now and then and to ask why I was still at work after 7pm and to instruct me to come home. I kept thinking I must have been ill-disciplined with my time or truly suck at delegating tasks as to have my work bleed into the time for my family. I am still trying to even the scales, though it looks like an uphill battle. Someone once told me that as you go higher up the hierarchy the more time you have. I’d slap him or her if I could remember who it was who said it.

On Friday the rest of the office was on leave on account of the Hari Raya Haji the day before and the prospect of a long weekend. It was only me and the accounts lady at work. As the clock nears 5 pm I was already thinking of the things I could do with my family instead of vegging out (though vegging out sounds good too. It has been a very demanding past few weeks for me) At the back of my head there was the nagging suspicion that something was not right. An email came in just before 5pm requiring an urgent major work to be done the very same day. I was right to be suspicious for unexpected free time. They almost always never exist. Might as well melt the damned scales for scrap metal.

Only late last year I realize that the reason I get no clear answer for my question is because no one has an answer for it. Everyone is trying to balance work and life. Everyone is busy running on that hamster wheel of Life that they do not even have the time to think about balancing anything. They just hope things are balanced. Looking back, maybe that thoughtful look the interviewer gave was actually an expectant look. Maybe he was also looking for that answer, for validation that work-life balance is necessary. But then again it could be he thought me to be an impudent whelp to have such unrealistic expectations.

Time moves so fast that often i have to remind myself that my children will not remain children forever. They grow up fast. One common complaint of my parent’s generation I have often heard was that they did not manage to see their children grow up. They were too busy working. I’d like to think that with technology and stuff my generation can do better but that remains to be seen. Technology seemed to have created this unreasonable expectation that legal work can be done in relatively short time. What nonsense. Somethings maybe lah, but not everything. Coming up with a legal solution could take time, its not like making yourself a Maggi mee.

I still dream of the day where 8 hour work day is a reality even for people who do contested matters regularly, even as the world is slowly moving towards 4 hour workday. Even if it is not my reality, now at least I am in the position to make it so for my colleagues. As for my imbalanced scales, it is up to me to balance it the best I can because at the end of the day, all that I have done is for my family. What is the point of it all if my legal work is top notch but my family life is in shambles? How can I even look them in the eyes to say that I had fought for the time with them as much as I had fought for my clients. 

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Ada apa dengan Janggut? (or trying to go full Gandalf)

Ever since I can grow one, I’ve always maintained a beard or some variant of it whenever I could. Whenever I could because back in my uni days I was in a uniformed body (it was a handy bargain, in return for roll calls on Wednesday mornings in full uniform and activities during semester break I get to have free accommodation at the university hostels).

While I was part of the uniformed body, the only prescribed mode of facial hair in the regulations were mustaches. So go ahead, grow a soup strainer or a handlebar but absolutely no hairs on your chin and I do not really know why beards are frowned upon. Perhaps it is a relic from the Brits just like Sam Browne belts and tea.

I tried but despite my best efforts to grow a mustache the result remains disappointing. They look like two warring camps of hair with a no man’s land in between them. Hopefully one day they will find a common ground for peace and coexistence. My beard however, is an entirely different matter. It is a feral thing. It needs no coaxing or grape seed oil to grow. It just does what it wants and grows in any direction it wants. If left alone I daresay It will eventually demand for self government. So for 5 years until I finally graduated I had to be smooth cheeked. That was during my uni days. During the MCOs I was on my way towards going full Gandalf until the day my long suffering Missus had a shiny new hair clipper placed right in front of me (damn you Shopee) so I got the message. Now, every three months or so I’d have the barber trim it as to make it look decent. Fairly decent.

Still, that does not fully explain the beard. I gave different answers to different people who asked. Different but all true. Once during my first day of pupillage one of the named Partner called me to his office for a get-to-know-each other chat. Having run out of pleasantries he motioned to my nascent beard (as it was then) and asked: kenapa awak bela janggut? Taking note of the Islamic vibe of the firm during my earlier interview I simply said: Sebab Sunnah (Two days ago i discovered that some in the Shafi'e school considered it Wajib). He nodded approvingly and that was the end of our conversation. Later that day he would assign me a particularly difficult legal opinion due to be delivered on the same evening and told me I was to follow him for a meeting the next day for a client whom the same legal opinion is for. I was his chauffeur that day despite only having obtained my driving license two months prior. Then another assignment led to other assignments on top my other equally challenging duties for other partners and court attendances.

In hindsight I should have given a different answer. But, shave my beard? Never!

Another time I was mistaken for a Kelantanese or a PAS supporter by a mesmerized Indian auctioneer in Klang. I was early to the auction. The auction house was on top of a motorcycle workshop. While waiting in the small stuffy room for the auction to start at the appointed time, I noticed that the auctioneer kept on looking at me. When it was clear there were no interested bidder to the property on auction together we did the admin work of signing and rubber stamping the POS and such. While we were doing that he asked me: Bang, abang orang Kelantan ke?. I find this amusing because the auctioneer is his 40’s or 50’s, definitely way older than me and somehow he thought I was older of the two of us. But to answer him I said no, I am not from Kelantan.

Dissatisfied, he went on: Orang Pas ke? I was sorry to disappoint him but I told him I had no party affiliation of whatsoever. I saw another question forming in his face but I beat him to it. Kenapa Encik tanya? Looking sheepish he replied: Tadaa la, Itu Janggut. Saya ingat Abang orang Kelantan ke, orang Pas ke apa. So I told him I grew one out of my own choice. My work done, I thank him and left before any further questions could come. The PAS supporter bit I understand but Kelantanese? I got a few Kelantanese guys as batchmates and none of them sported a full on beard.

I thought apart from making me look older, sporting a beard would also make me look more distinguished and wise thereby allowing me to escape the junior experience with clients or in the courts. But nope. None such luck. Somehow I think most judges have the ability to smell a junior from a mile away, beard or no beard. Even today in some hearings or trials I still feel like a captive mice being toyed with before the final devouring and that some clients insisted that I consult an older and more seasoned colleague (which I did anyway out of habit but it rankles me to be told to do so). So much for being wise. 

The thing about having a beard is that you can scratch them to show irritation, stroke it while thinking on something or twirl it a bit while being deeply engaged in an even deeper thoughts or while formulating an argument. It gives you something to do with your hands while you contemplate. Most importantly, more hair for you to style: sport an Imperial or a French Fork or good old goatee. If all else fails you can always plait your beard long and hail Odin or whatever pagan/ Nordic deity of your choice. 

Having a beard also has its price. I’ve had my beard yanked hard by my eldest when he was 3 or 4 months old. That vise like grip of a baby's hand and that quick involuntary tug. Brought tears to my eyes, it did. So Alexander the Great was right to insist on a clean shaven army. Yanking on a beard can be immobilizing to an opponent. A beard is also super smell absorbent. So a lot of shampooing and care is necessary to keep it nice and sweet smelling. But having said all that would I consider shaving off my beard especially in this heat? No sir, I will not. Come Hell or highwater, this beard is here to stay. It has become a part of my identity that I simply could not imagine myself without it. Without it I would be like a cowboy without his ten gallon hat or a pendekar without his keris, a litigator without his bands.

Besides, it is a useful Macguffin in my ongoing cases of mistaken identity which I find very amusing. The total tally so far is:

a)being mistaken for a Kelantanese: 1

b)being mistaken for a Pas supporter: 1

c)being mistaken for a Dato’: 2 (Once in POJ, another at Shah Alam Court. But could be unrelated to the beard)

e)being mistaken for a JAIS officer/agent: 1

Maybe if I live long enough the list could expand to being mistaken for Fidel Castro (El Commandante!), a philosopher, a tanned Gandalf, a castaway, an honorary Tolkein-esque dwarf or even a mountaintop sage in town for groceries.

Whatever it is, I pray for a long, fruitful life and even longer beard. 

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Jatuh/Bangun

Bangun pagi ini seluruh badan rasa lenguh dan sengal.

Malam semalam penutup minggu sukan anak aku yang sulung. Sepanjang minggu ada acara sukan berjalan sewaktu waktu persekolahan. Penutup dan pemberian pingat dibuat pada waktu malam hari kerana hari siangnya kan umpama macam duduk dalam ketuhar. Ini untuk mengelakkan strok haba dan bermacam lagi simptom dunia yang demam. Ya, dunia demam, kita yang kepanasan. Climate change is real. Anyway, Macam acara penutup sukan yang lain ada lah perbarisan masuk dan lain-lain.

Acara dibuat di dalam dewan salah sebuah stadium di Shah Alam. Aku ada nampak floodlights untuk padang bola di luar stadium dan track terpasang jadi pasti ada acara lain di padang bola. Sambil memerhati kebingitan mak bapak yang sibuk berteriakan dan melambai kepada anak-anak masing-masing dan ibu bapa yang lain aku mengipas-gipas diri. Ada aliran udara dalam dewan tapi tak cukup banyak untuk membasmi panas dan peluh.

Aku tak lama dalam dewan. Si Bongsu yang masih belum bersekolah mengadu lapar jadi aku bawa dia keluar mencari benda yang boleh dikunyah. Yang Sulung menyertai perbarisan jadi dia duduk bersama rumah sukannya di gelanggang sehingga perbarisan tamat. Acara futsal bagi tahapnya telahpun selesai sebelum malam penutup jadi aku tidak ada insentif untuk betul-betul duduk di dalam dewan dan mengikuti acara. Orang Rumah pula duduk di tempat duduk sambil melihat perjalanan acara dan seperti ibu-ibu yang lain, mengambil gambar. 

Terbenamnya matahari masih belum dapat menghilangkan bahang siang hari. Sesekali ada angin bertiup malas yang menghilangkan sengsara dan lekit peluh. Kebetulan MC ada umumkan ada ais krim stand yang ditaja jadi sesiapa yang berminat boleh beratur di pintu masuk utama dewan. Turun sahaja dari tangga dewan si Bongsu menarik tangan aku ke ice cream stand. Kami kemudiannya berjalan berpegangan tangan sambil si Bongsu makan ais krim vanilla dan bercerita itu ini pada aku. Dua kali kami ke ais krim stand sebelum masuk semula ke dewan. Ada perlawanan futsal final darjah berapa aku tak pasti. Geng bapak yang tadi semuanya duduk diam control macho mulai berteriak melihat pemain bergolek berebut bola dan cubaan demi cubaan untuk membolos gol lawan.

Sekali lagi si Bongsu mengusap perut dan membuat muka seposen kepada aku. Keluar sekali lagi, turun tangga sekali lagi, berjalan-jalan sekali lagi. Itu bukan kali terakhir. Selepas beberapa kali (aku rasa ada dekat 5-6 kali) kami keluar dan masuk dewan aku terfikir sebenarnya bukannya sebab si Bongsu lapar sangat pun tapi nak berjalan-jalan dan keluar dari dewan yang tak cukup berangin. Jadi kami berjalan-jalan di kalangan food truck yang ada. Ais krim percuma sudah habis pada waktu itu jadi kami berjalan mencari kedai yang menjual ais krim atau galang ganti yang setara. Terjumpa satu kedai yang menjual ais krim perisa 100 Plus. Perisa pelik tapi boleh lah daripada langsung tak ada. Kali ini aku turut serta menghirup dan memamah ais krim.

Sambil berjalan itu kami menghala ke padang bola dan trek balapan di mana satu perlawanan bola sepak sedang berlangsung. Kami duduk di bleachers sambil memerhati perlawanan seketika sebelum si Bongsu tiba-tiba bingkas bangun dan berkata kepada aku: Abah, hold my ice cream, seraya menghulur aiskrim 100 plusnya kepada aku. Mencicit dia lari turun tangga bleachers sebelum ke track balapan. Rupanya dia sudah ternampak sekumpulan kanak-kanak yang lebih tua sedang berlari-lari di trek. Si Bongsu terkedek-kedek berlari mula-mula perlahan tapi makin lama makin laju. Tak terkejar aku yang terhincut-hincut (buku lali kiri buat hal) berjalan pantas walaupun si Bongsu ada berhenti sekejap ambil nafas. 

Di kejauhan ternampak dia jatuh gedebuk tergolek seketika diselekoh sebelum bangun menepuk debu dibadan dan sambung berlari semula. Bila dari jauh segalanya nampak dalam mod perlahan. Dalam kepala aku lagu Also sprach Zarathustra mula bermain bila dia menggagahkan diri bangun dari sembam, menepuk-nepuk membersih debu dan mula kembali berlari dan berlari, berlari dan terus berlari dengan bersemangat. Seolah-olah macam tak pernah terjatuh pun. Mengagumkan!. Well, untuk aku lah. Orang lain mungkin nampak benda lain. 

Anyway,

Sampai dua lap dia buat keliling trek sebelum berhenti bila nampak ada sekumpulan budak perempuan yang duduk di tepi trek balapan.

Bila aku sampai ke kumpulan budak perempuan (yang aku kira peringkat sekolah menengah), si Bongsu tengah memulakan sales pitch dia. Nama dan entah apa lagi yang aku tak berapa dengar tetapi pastinya sesuatu yang kelakar kerana berderai ketawa budak-budak perempuan tersebut. Aku datang mendekat dan senyum apologetic sebelum mengajak dia pergi mencari air untuk diminum. Aku hulur ais krim 100 plus yang telah cair (nasib baik dalam tiub) dan tanya: I saw that you fell down just now. Are you okay?  I am okay dia balas lepas hirup aiskrim 100 plus cair. Aku periksa juga kalau ada luka atau apa-apa. Tak ada. Does it hurt?, aku tanya lagi. A little bit. But I am okay, dia balas sebelum tarik tangan aku pegi ke vending machine. Aku memandang dia dengan kagum. Macam Ford Ranger; Built tough.

Tak lama lepas tu kami masuk semula ke dewan bagi penyampaian pingat. Si Sulung diberikan pingat bagi tempat kedua acara futsal. Terpancar kebanggaan diwajahnya bila dikalungkan pingat. Orang rumah dan aku mengambil giliran untuk peluk cium, bergambar, kata kami bangga dengan dia. Words and deeds. Penting tu, aku pesan pada diri. Lain acara, aku tak ambil pusing. 

Lama juga kami di sana. Hampir tengah malam baru pulang ke rumah. Sepanjang pemanduan pulang ke rumah aku dok teringat-ingat insiden si Bongsu jatuh tergolek dan bangun semula tu. Benda yang kita selalu buat masa kecil tapi acap kali lupa bila dewasa. Bangun semula bila jatuh. Selalu kalau dah besar ni kalau jatuh akan ada seribu satu alasan untuk terus terduduk atau tersembam. Padahal bendanya paling semula jadinya sampai budak pun tahu, adalah untuk bangun balik lepas jatuh. Macam kata Aman Ra: jatuh sekali aku bangun 3 kali. Macam kata Malcolm X dalam biografi beliau:

‘’Children have a lesson adults should learn, to not be ashamed of failing, but to get up and try again. Most of us adults are so afraid, so cautious, so 'safe', and therefore so shrinking and rigid and afraid that it is why so many humans fail. Most middle-aged adults have resigned themselves to failure"

Bangun lepas jatuh dan terus berlari, berjalan, merangkak, mengengsot. Tak kira. Terus bergerak. Terus ke hadapan dan terus melawan.

Bangun! 

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Abah

Salah satu perkara yang selalu diulang Abah adalah anak-anaknya tak ada seorang pun yang buat technical line macam dia. Bukan apa, tiga-tiga tak ada bakat dengan nombor dan pengiraan. Ada lah cuba jugak. Seorang sekolah sains, sorang lagi ambik aliran sains masa sekolah menengah dulu. Dia pernah cuba tolong aku dengan kerja rumah kimia. Tak ubah macam itik mengajar ayam terbang. Dia belajar Applied Chemistry, aku belajar Kimia. Dia kira molarity, aku kira-kira bila siksa pengiraan durjana ni akan berakhir sebab nak sambung main game pasal aku masa tu tengah main balik kesemua francais Half-Life.

Dia bukan bapa yang paling sempurna. Kadang-kala ada tersalah langkah. Ada kelemahan dan kekurangannya, macam aku, macam kau. Macam kita semua. Tapi tak kira apa cacat celanya tiada apa yang boleh mengubah fakta bahawa Abah adalah bapa aku. Banyak benda yang aku belajar dan ambil pengajaran. Apa yang patut dibuat dan apa yang aku tak patut ikut. Dia ajar aku apekebende molarity itu di luar kereta sambil berdiri dengan buku terletak di atas but kereta. Kami diluar rumah nenek. Pada waktu itu, rumah nenek sudah tertutup pada Abah.

Dia juga ajar aku dengar Pink Floyd, Deep Purple dan Queen. Dia memulakan perjalanan abang aku ke arah musik instrumental dengan Mike Oldfield dan loceng-loceng tiubnya. Ajar kami hargai bunyi berkualiti melalui sound system yang dia bina sendiri sikit demi sedikit dengan amplifier dan segala mak nenek speaker dalam bilik yang turut menjadi tempat kami sekeluarga solat berjemaah. Selesai menyembah Tuhan, musik sedap mula beralun. Nasib baik jiran tak panggil Polis.

Benda paling seronok tengok adalah bila dia bawak keluar tools dia dan mula memasang atau membuka benda di keliling rumah. Tapi bila dia bawak keluar Swiss Army Knife dia tu itu paling ultimate. Paling cool, Macgyver level of cool. Bila bawak keluar je memang aku automatik ada kat sebelah dia. Tengok dia buat apa. Kejap bukak/pasang skru, kejap potong wayar. Ada jelah benda dia buat dengan Swiss Army Knife dia tu. Bila dia takda, aku yang ganti dia jadi handyman keliling rumah.

Aku membaca sebab bermula dengan menyelak koleksi National Geographic Abah dan Mak langgan masa baru kahwin dulu. Aku mula membaca fiksyen Inggeris bila tergerak hati untuk ambik satu paperback Abah dari menara-menara paperback Abah yang ada di rumah pada waktu itu. Habis terkepak-kepak spine buku-buku dia. Tapi dia tak marah pun. Diam-diam memerhati agaknya. Bila dia tahu aku mula menulis, dia memberi dorongan dan kata semangat. Dia cakap: What other people think of you is not important, what you think of yourself is and if Law is not working out for you, you can always do creative writing. Bahagian pertama itu benda yang aku pegang sampai sekarang. Bahagian kedua tu, on hold. I really want lawyering to work out first before diving head first into creative..thing.

Aku membesar dengan dengar cerita dia panjat cerobong asap refinery pastu jumpa hantu tengah bertenggek (boleh jadi Jin tengah dinner) di puncak, teman dia buat kerja di pejabat lengang pada hari Sabtu, cuba pakai but Redwing lusuh dan hard hat dia yang ada di rumah pada waktu sambil berangan untuk jadi Oilman macam dia. To suck on the tits of Big Oil. Konon glamour lah. Tapi Hidup yang pegang remote control. Kita cuma boleh tengok apa saluran yang diberi. Paling dekat pun dulu hampir apply jadi eksekutif perundangan di Baker Hughes.

Hari aku long call dia berikan kepada aku sebagai hadiah satu koleksi cerpen John Grisham sebab dia tau aku pun gila buku dan juga hidup aku mungkin akan jadi dramatik macam cerita John Grisham. Ada lah drama tapi nothing worthy of a book. At least not yet. Mungkin satu hari nanti.

Bila anak sulung aku yang baru dapat kaki pada waktu itu terus berlari ke arah Abah dan mendongak minta didukung dan seronok diam didukung tak lepas aku boleh nampak mata Abah berkaca. Dari Abah dah naik pangkat ke Grand Abah. Aku pun pandang keliling, cari ninja mana yang potong bawang sebab mata aku pun pedih. Mungkin satu hari nanti aku akan rasa benda yang sama bila cucu datang berlari, mendongak minta didukung.

Kalau umur aku panjang lah.

Macam aku cakap, dia tak sempurna. A man with a man’s problems. Tapi dia Abah aku.

Thank you Abah, for everything.

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How low can you go?

Friday last week I went to KL Court with two ends in mind, getting the cd of court recording for an upcoming criminal appeal and to see how the touts ply their trade. Well, i went to court for the CRT. The tout-watching, that was my friend’s idea. This is an ongoing topic we had been discussing on and off again. From his pupillage until he has finally opened up his own law firm. On how a legal practitioner would get their files and how low some are willing to go to get them.

He was of the opinion that there is no bottom to it, no red line if one is to survive. I get it, I understood that. That was my position previously. In law school there was no class or course entitled Getting Your Files 101 or Marketing 302. There was no explanation given why the business aspect of the Law is not discussed. If it was given I probably slept in that class or it was grossly insufficient. Most of us would leave law school full of ideas and all that cal but with not a clue on how to generate fees to pay your bills.

So our education on getting bills paid via legal practice truly began during pupillage. If you are lucky you would end up with a pupil master who are not only concerned with your development of your legal muscle but also your appreciation of what exalted oddity the legal profession is. Neither a business nor a charity but a bit of both. The lessons would be on how not to get your files and how you ought to treat you clients. But that still does not answer wholly the question on how does one get all those juicy files.

Some prefer to unshackle themselves from questions of ethics and lived up to Nelson’s (Lord Horatio Nelson, the British naval hero. Not Nelson of the corn-in-cup variety) adage of going straight at them. Them in this sense does not refer to Spanish or French warship as per the original adage but refers to the pool of potential clients there in the courts. You can find these lawyers and their kakis roaming the corridors of KL Court, mostly where the Criminal Magistrate’s courts are situated.

When my partners and I first opened up our firm, my sole aim was to rack up as many MOB (Mention On Behalf) matters as possible while we crack our heads together to find the core files for the firm. This was years before E-Review system was in place. In the course of doing MOBs all over Klang Valley I was gradually exposed to these Nelsonian adherents. I began MOB-ing for some of them, beginning from standing down their matters while they run off to other Magistrate Courts or to other court complexes for other cases to doing the actual plea of mitigation for cases they could not attend as their trust in me grew. I polished my mitigating chops by observing these fellows in action.

To be clear (this is for you DB people), I am not a corridor roamer. Never was, never will be. I am an MOB lawyer. Fellow lawyers ask me to appear at so and so court on so and so date, I would be there, i get paid. End of story.

Anyway,

So there I was on a Friday morning with my friend at KL Court. We started by roaming level 3 of the complex, left wing. Maybe our slow stroll down the corridor could be mistaken for a lost civilian looking for a particular court room because in no time we were approached by two civilian kaki (I call them kaki) Each one enquiring with expectant looks which court are we looking for.

I forgot how powerful a black and white suit can be. I’ve seen these fellas around and never once did they approach me. They know I am not a corridor kind of guy. Then again the haircut, face mask and street clothes might have confused them. Usually, it would be the other way around, in a suit, civilians would ask me where so and so courts are. Little did they know that most of the time I myself would rely on the big colourful map they have at the main lobby for the court designation would change from time to time due to renovations and such. So being taken for an easy mark by kakis was an entirely new experience for me and my friend.

Me and my friend went into each Magistrate’s court to see lawyers mitigating sentences. After a while we went to Level 4 where I met an old timer whom which we shall call Brader. Brader had been doing roaming the corridors bit for quite a while. He stopped a few years back but came back into the game after MCO. He was sitting on one of the benches outside one of the Magistrate’s Court waiting for fresh cases to be called. Naturally we got down to talk about the old days, old kakis and how some of them had gone on to greener pastures and how he is taking in YBGK files to slowly wean himself off the kakis and corridor roaming. A bench away, an Indian lawyer whom I’ve seen around was busy plying his trade to a worried looking old Malay lady. No doubt emphasizing the need for a lawyer to get a reduced sentence for whomever is inside the court lockup. After sufficiently long conversation my friend and I said our goodbyes to Brader. We then went to one of the magistrate courts there to continue our observation of criminal lawyers plying their trade. We saw one successfully pleading for a binding over order for a wife of an addict who was caught with the husbands small stash.

Nothing much was going on at Level 4. We went to Level 1, I thought we might observe the goings on at the traffic courts and other. Brader had warned us that a particularly bold group of lawyers held sway over the traffic court and urged caution on our part for they jealously guard their realm. This we could not confirm. We found our way barred by a pair of RELA guys. Judging from their extra inquisitive questions of our reason for being there, there must be a particularly juicy case going on in there. But not wanting to court trouble, we made a u-turn and went back to Level 4 to one of the magistrate’s court where the lady magistrate is particularly cute and gave sensible compounds to minor drug offences.

As we opened the wooden doors from the elevator leading to the corridor outside, there was a sharply dressed young man with his back to us, typing something on his smartphone. A lawyer from the looks of it. He turned to face us having heard the wooden doors open. As he saw us I can see the split-second calculation as his eyes took our street clothes into consideration before he greeted us with a wide smile and querying where are we heading. His eyes now shone with the predatory gleam of a shark sensing a prospective lunch. Being a smartass, i simply pointed to my right and said, going that way and left him hungry.

Me and my friend took to the cafe after it was clear that no more cases will be heard at the cute lady magistrate’s court. Over lunch my friend broached the subject again, about being approached by the kakis and the young male lawyer at Level 4. He said ‘’Takde class langsung bang diorang ni’’. I have no objections there. They reminded me of the kind people who would crowd the jetties and airport lobbies of local holiday destinations hollering that they can get you rented car or van or motorcyle and whatnot. The only difference here is that it is done outside the court rooms and some of them are in suits and in possession of practicing certificates.

‘’But good money bro’’, I said to tempt him. From our conversation with Brader the rates for Plea in Mitigation has fallen a bit but if one were to secure at least three cases a day, in a week one could make what a fresh LA makes in a month, more or less. My young friend’s face curled in distaste and he repeated the same line: ‘’Takde class Bang’’.

So I guess there is a bottom for him after all and I am reminded of mine. We all want to survive, sure. Times are always hard and that sometimes a firm is just propped up by hopes of payment and prayers alone. But money is not everything. It cannot be everything. There has to be something greater and more fulfilling than having your bills paid (Like a big bowl of Beehun Soto with generous amount of shredded chicken and begedil). We ought to have some dignity in us. We need a daily reminder to us that we are in a profession that goes beyond money and what comes with it. Maybe that is an idealistic and quaint thing to say but if we do not stand for something we stand for nothing. If we stand for nothing, we are nothing.

These corridor roamers are small fries which often lead to more morally reprehensible practice, palm greasing being one of it and it is not confined to the Criminal Law practice alone. Some half-hearted poster and banner placement in court is not going to work. An active measure is needed. I was shocked when I was told that Bar Council had no enforcement or investigative department. And yet they want to eradicate touting. As the common parlance goes: Sembang la weh.

At the same time, I get it why these people do what they do. The lure of easy money, survival. The former is up to the lawyers but something can be done for the latter. You can call it excuses sure but those are the underlying causes. The sad thing is that there is a platform for lawyers to do criminal case and get paid without having to roam the corridors. There’s Yayasan Bantuan Guaman Kebangsaaan (YBGK) where you can represent an accused for remand, bail, mitigation, trial and even up to appeals and get paid for it. But the pay rate is crap and payment is made once every 4 months. Not really helpful considering bills are due every month. Now, there are complaints from some YBGK lawyers about claims being denied or halved for flimsy reasons and more ridiculous requirements before any claims are processed, as if filling in claim forms by hand is not time-consuming enough. Sure there are some lowlifes falsifying claims and whatnot but to tar the rest of us with the same brush is just unfair. Make YBGK an attractive alternative to corridor roaming and you can reduce the number of corridor roamers. I say reduce because to totally eradicate is an unrealistic metric to be achieved. The lure of easy money is always there. All than can be done is to remind lawyers to not give in to the temptation.

Deliver us from unpaid bills and lead us not into solicitation, that kind of thing.

At the end of the day the question of how does a practitioner find them files while remaining principled and unstained by the dust of earthly existence, remains mostly a mystery to me. How low am I willing to go? I do not know. I hope to stay straight and true as we all should be. I pray that I do. One thing I do know for sure is that I'm not roaming no corridors. No sir.

Not that low.

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5 things to consider before starting a fight (In Court or Tribunals or any place where some measure of verbal judo is required)

Thought I might inaugurate the new blog with something from my day job.

Here it is. 

5 things to do/know before starting a fight (In Court or Tribunals etc.)

1)Tell the truth, always.

It seems elementary but it bears repeating. Always tell the truth:

     a)To yourself

     b)To your lawyer

     c)To the Court (yes, the court can handle the truth)

Only a fool would think that a little fiction or withholding some evidence wont hurt anybody. You can certainly try but eventually the truth will come out and it better not be in a middle of a trial because that can be very messy. Messy for your case because the lawyer could not be prepared for what he or she is not told of and that withholding of evidence can affect the credibility of your case. Messy for you because giving false evidence is an offence under Section 193 of the Penal Code and carries the punishment of imprisonment of maximum 7 years and fine.

2)Think, really think. Is it worth it?

This is related to Paragraph 1 (a) above. Prior to initiating a legal action, get yourself a cup of tea or any hot beverage of your choice. A potful if necessary. While sipping the said beverage, think real hard. Is this a fight that I really want? Is this something worth fighting for? Can this be settled over tea and cucumber sandwiches? Is there really something material that you would like to protect or some principle you would like to uphold? Or is it just my pride/anger talking? The answer to this question is very important because most people forget that a legal action is a marathon (most of the time). Do you have the mental fortitude and time for it? 

3)Collate and compile all documents.

I always tell prospective clients after the first meeting to compile and collate all documents related to the dispute/ proposed action (usually they don’t have everything at the first meeting). All documents means everything. Communications, agreements, receipts and whatnot. Make copies of original documents, copies of copies if need be. Let the lawyer decide what is relevant and what is not. The reason is this: in court the side with most and complete documents will carry the day, most of the time. Because often documents themselves will speak volumes. It will also allow your lawyer to trip the opposing witness on discrepancies and conflicting evidences. Oh, one more thing, prepare a chronology of events prior to meeting your lawyer. Your lawyer will love you for it.

4) Know and disclose your budget for legal services to your lawyer

Unless you are using the services of Yayasan Bantuan Guaman Kebangsaan or Biro Bantuan Guaman, legal representation is a paid service (unless clearly specified otherwise). Sure lawyers are idealistic lot but we have bills to pay too. If you plan to initiate a suit or have been served with one, start to set aside some money. Be upfront with your lawyer with your budget. Rates will vary. You are after all engaging someone to be your champion in the courts, not some monkey in a suit.

5) Expect the unexpected

There is a winner and a loser in every fight, it is not possible to know who wins and who loses at the onset. We can venture a guess but it is far from definite. Like boxing bouts, it is fought by men (and women) and will be decided by men (and women) who are fallible and subject to the whims of Fate just like the rest of us.

Another thing to keep in mind are that lawyers are not magicians, bomohs or prophets. We do not have magical potion of cure-all nor do we have Divine miracles at our beck and call. We work within the confines of the Law. If the cure you seek is extralegal or extrajudicial then you are in the wrong shop, brother (or sister).

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Baru

Ini kali 5 aku cuba bukak blog baru. Kalau tak jadi jugak aku nak ukir segala karutan aku atas batu je lepas tu humban dalam sungai. Mungkin lepas 500 tahun nanti bila sungai beralih aliran, ada yang terjumpa dan tanya si gila mana yang tulis benda ni semua?

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